As I am staring at the window I can see the smooth waves crashing to the rough sands of the beach. The sound of it is distinct from the place that I am hiding.
It is cold. I am longing for the warmth of summer air. It makes me feel more alone. And lonely.
It has been my hiding place. The worst spot of escape. The location of loneliness.
But it makes me feel a little safe. Away from the danger people could give. Far from the nightmares that I've been running from.
Only to feel that I have no one. No one to talk to, to lean on, and cry over the shoulders. I am all alone. With the company of myself, hoping that I will be better. Hoping that I can be alive.
I've searched for myself, but ended up being lost. There must be some mistakes to the fate in front of me.
Maybe I should go back. Find another way, desert the old path, and dredge a new route to where I must be heading.
To where I can feel the real meaning of being safe. Far from the eerie world that I am living. Far from the monsters that I have built. Far from the darkness that almost swallowed me whole.
I must alter the setting. To where I can find comfort and peace. To where I can find a company. To where I can build a city.
To somewhere that I can call home.
A place that could be my haven, a place where I can breathe when I feel that the world is eating me. An avenue for my wholebeing.
A secret spot where I can hide and run. Yet protects me from being fallen.