Child

Child. I was once like that. Happy and no worries. Playing, sleeping and eating that is what I do- or did- before. But then we all grow up. From a cute child to an awkward teenager. We always want to fit inside the world that our mind created. We always want to be in. Doing what "popular" or "Rich Kids" do. Trying different or "slutty" clothes, wearing make-up, dying because of hunger or "diet", and changing our personalities. And there comes love. A word that can make you or break you. In my senseless case, love made and broke me. "Why?" You ask. I love him. He loves me. We love one another. Or rather loved. It was one of the best years in my life. Then our 3rd anniversary came. He asked for my purity. At first I denied. Why would I give in? My Mama told me that the purity of women are sacred. He didn't got mad at me. But then he always told me that "Why can't we do it? Everybody does it." He beg. He plead. And because I love him, my walls came crushing down. I gave in. Something happened between the two of us. It was magical, enchanting. Nevertheless, something changed. Like he drifted away from my hold. I got scared. He was and is my very first. And the worst came, I got sick. Been rushed to the hospital. I woke up because of my Mama's wails and my Papa's shouts. My sisters broke the horrid news to me. I was... I... I can't believe it. We are pregnant. I was frightened. I'm too young. He's too young. Thankfully my family got my back. But then they asked, "Who is he?". I told them "Marcus, Papa." My Papa was furious. We went to their house. And I dropped the bomb. "We are pregnant, Marcus." I don't know what to do then. He was not moving. Is he happy? Is he? The answers no. He eloped. With his family. That was maddening. I cried and cried and cried. I cried a thousand rivers. What to do? My child cannot grow up without a father! It was humiliating at the same time. At the age of 16 I got pregnant. Without a father. And after nine excruciating months I pushed my child onto this beautiful world. A girl. A very pretty girl. My child grew up beautiful, loved and brilliant. Unexpectedly she got famous. Now after 30 years, I am looking down from this window. My child grew up perfectly without a father. She has her own children now. My child has her own child to lead and take care. After this many years, I haven't saw him again. I don't know if he's dead or alive. But nobody ever exchanged him in my heart. I was never mad at him. He gave me a very wonderful remembrance which is my child.