Comfort

Walking in circles she goes again.
The fear of falling keep her still in her toes. Careful she let the day pass just how it used to be.
Leaving nothing but a relieving feeling of being able to survive a new day.

She keep inside the circle she made.
An invisible line that keep her from being seen.
Afraid that trashes and knives will be thrown to her face and back of her body.
The disconnection she have with her environment somehow gave her satisfaction of living.

Silent, unnoticed, she just let it.
Without touching a single soul.
Without a building a bridge.
Without making a memory to reminisce.

She let it.

Afraid that the connection will be interrupted and a cut will be made.
That bridges will fall after a single strike of a tidal wave.
She's afraid to hold the rope she tied  with other people and realize she's the only one gripping it tightly.

And days grow to months and
months grow to years.
She continue walking in the circle but never leaving an inch.
Now, she felt restless.
She felt lonely.
And she asked why
because its suppose to make her happy.
It's suppose to make her feel alive.

She did it because the opposite made a huge scar in her chest.
The very reason she can't stand the wound of socializing and making relationships.

Then reality slapped her.
Shaking away the anxiety of the past.
Breaking the wall that she thought would help her grow.
The circle she made vanished into thin air and she saw the eyes of people sorrounding her.

Worried eyes.

Why?

A question pop in her head.
'Coz she still remember the moment the water in the falls dried up and how it cause dearth to their hearts. Feeling the dust of disconnection and disappearance.

And it stings her inside, like how a thorn of a beautiful bloomed rose pierced her naked skin.

She felt the ache of the blood flowing down, yet, she's smiling.
Confused yet happy.

She thought.

The real world is a balance of light and darkness.

She finally woke up from her dreams; where pain is avoidable and shouldn't be felt easily, deeply. A world of fantasy, a world full runaways like her and me.
 
Yes, at last. She get to escape from the delusion of happiness created by her painful past.
She finally realized what a comfort zone means to those who wish to live the fullest of their lives.