Look at me, what do you see ?
Is it that girl who's trying to be funny
Or that young woman who's making herself as her enemy ?
Look at me, what do you see ?
It is that girl who's fixing her hair
Or that young woman who's trying to pull herself together ?
Look at me once more and tell me honestly , what do you see ?
Is it that girl again who's trying to figure out what the world would be when she came older
Or that young woman who's trying to open the door back to her younger self ?
Look at me and tell me that I am not wrong about life. That I am not wrong for falling inlove. Tell me that I am not mistaken. That my decisions were all right. Lie to me if you have to. I am just tired of convincing myself everyday that this life is what I wanted when I was younger.
Look at me once more and smile at me if you could. Tell me that I am beautiful. Tell me that my scars are just an adorment to my beauty. Convince me that my heart is still alive. That I still exist.
Look at me and whisper to my ear that I am more than worth it. That I am worth to grow and be loved. That I am not a waste . A trash. An option.
That girl in the mirror is a reflection of youth.On the other hand, that young woman is devastated. She'd like to turn back the time and just be a kid. She'd like to escape the harsh reality of life. That it is not simple to live and live up to the expectations that people around her are showering. That it is not easy to please everybody.
Look at them together and you'll see the conflict inside me.The choices I made that caused me so much of myself. That caused me to lose part of me. The decisions I have opted that led me to disappointments. The things I've done that made my life miserable. Made me who I am today.
Being named as a self gratifying egoistic bitch is not so good for me. But I am living to stand the act. To play the part of a heartless hero just to save them from being one. I am taking full responsibity of the bad things because being good is just too hard to maintain.It's gonna cost the younger version of me to give more effort to these pigs. I'll let the younger woman do her things. She's designed by my head to act like doing it.
Look at me for the last time and tell me again what do you see ?
Is it that girl having a heavenly life
Or that young woman who's trying to save her other self and shielding the girl from the sharks of life ?