Couldn't Become Anything At All,But Me

I often recall myself those evenings
When I was trying to become like you
Or rather put this way
To be liked by you

By reading the books you had read
Blending in with each character
Living the story of every author

By singing the song you loved
decisively abandoning myself to it
probing so aptly at each single word

By looking at things as you did
Marking your accent on every word
Following your conviction like a kid

I clearly remember
How evenings by evenings
You were spoiling my younger self
with those vague evanascents
While I was savoring your charm
Tasting those very quick moments
So unknowingly doing myself
An obstinate harm.

And now that I look at me
There are just scars and lessons.
Still as fresh and as unlearned
And I am as much as I am
Rhetorically avoided by you
For what, To you
I sincerely was.