IT TAKES ME SECONDS TO FEEL THE URGE OF WRITHING SOMETHING . MINUTES SOMETIMES HOURS TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO WRITE . AND WHEN I FINALLY DO . IT HAPPENS THAT I LOOSE THE WORDS AGAIN . MY BRAIN FREEZES . THEN MY FINGERS START TO TREMBLE . AND MY EYES START TO WATER . IT DOESNT MATTER IF IM HAPPY OR SAD . SOMEHOW WORDS FIND THAT WEEK STRING I HOLD AND I HIDE . AND SOMEHOW WORDS FIND THEIR WAY THERE AND TRIGGER EVERY TEAR AND CUT OPEN EVERY SCAR I HAVE EVER HIDDEN .
SOMEHOW I FORGET HOW TO BE STRONG . I FORGET WHAT IS IT LIKE TO FAKE STRENGHT AND POWER AND SAFETY . SOMEHOW I JUST LOOSE TRACK OF TIME . AND GET DRUNK ON WORDS AND LETTERS AND PAST AND FUTURE . THAT FUTURE THAT I URGE AND CRAVE SO BAD . AND IT THE END I FALL TO WAKE UP ...
I NEVER FELT SO ALIVE TO WAKE UP .