Dear Other woman

I am sure my husband has painted a very clear picture of me in your head. I am the unstable crazy woman who has made his life a living hell. The only reason he is tolerating me because of 'his' daughter. Did he also tell you that i am a shitty mother to 'his' daughter, but his poor little daughter loves me nonetheless, so he has to tolerate me. That must pretty much sum up your knowledge of his 'cray-cray' wife.

But i feel like i owe you my story too, so here it goes.

I was 18 when I first met him. I was that stereoptypical small town girl, on her first stint in the big city and he was the charming senior all girls had crush on. He had that aura about him, he just held everyone's attention whenever he was in the room, he didn't even have to try it came naturally to him. So when me, a small town nobody managed to snag his attention, it felt like the world was at my feet, like life couldn't possibly get better for me. It was not just love for me, i was completely consumed by him. So when i was 19, and he asked me to run away and marry him against parent's wishes i did just that. I was married to him at 19 and didn't know any better. I was 21 when i gave birth to 'his' daughter. My parents were really upset for a while, but they soon accepted my marriage. Did i tell you that my parents are well off?! Well they had a number of properties and businesses. So obviously the did not want their only daughter struggling in life so naturally there was a hefty dowry involved. When i was pregnant and my husband supposedly lost his job, it was then that the monthly allowances from my parents began. They allowed or rather still allows their 'daughter' to live a comfortable life. But my dear worldly husband knows not to bother his innocent wife with nitty gritty of these financial things so he took care of all that.
It was when 'his' daughter was 6 months old i realized that all is not right in my world. He became distant and angry. Every morning felt like he could not wait to get away from me, i was becoming more and more lonely and miserable as days were passing. And then the insecurities started kicking in. How else are you supposed to feel when your husband won't touch you or even look at you.

I never finished graduation, so i didn't have anything to do with my time other than to wallow in my misery. When 'his' daughter turned One it became very clear that he was having an affair. It felt lile he was not even trying to hide it.  But what was i to do?! I was scared of leaving him because i had lost myself over the years and didn't really know what to do. My parents went through a lot because my wedding was deemed as a scandal in my hometown, so I could not subject them to me coming back home.

So I stayed and became more insecure and miserable and lost myself even more. I confronted him you know, so many times. I shouted, i screamed, i hit him and scratched him, but he never reacted. I became 'hysterical'. The scratch marks must have proved his 'crazy unstable' wife theory.

You should know that insecurity does that to people, make them loose their sanity. And i lost myself and my sanity for a while there. I tjought there was something wrong with me, that i was not pretty enough, not captivating enough to keep him to myself. I only saw myself through his eyes, the eyes that never even saw me. I thought that was all my worth.

But now i know better. I know i deserve so much more and so do you.
I am leaving him. What you do now is up to you, but i felt that you deserved to know my story too.

P.S.  I am going to claim full custody of MY daughter in the divorce.

Soon-to-be-ex-Wife