THE DEDICATION

                                                                                     Ritu Siddharth

Shobha and Giridhar were middle class; both singletons doing internship in medicine….he in Stanley Hospital, she in General Hospital. He played snookers and cricket; she, chess and kabaddi. That apart, Shobha was a good singer. She had won a couple of prizes in her school.

The two were in love,steady and deep. Apparently anyone who observed them could say she loved him more .

It was intercollegiate music competition with 10 participants in the final round. Shobha chose an old classical based love song. Anita, a 2nd yr student sang a similar song, Hussain, from Arts college did a classical devotional song. Audience were 50:50 for the two outstanding girls. Judges’ decision was final. The announcement followed:

“Third prize goes to Hussain, second prize to Anita, and…the firs prize… goes to …S.h.o.b.h.a ”.The auditorium echoed with claps.

Shobha rushed to Giridhar who was in the audience, to show him her prize.

“Anita was better I think..the judges were partial”, he remarked with a smirk. Her smile vanished but returned a moment later. “Yeah! I think so too , she was better than me, Giri ”, she agreed. He studied her face to see if she was kidding just the way he did. No, she meant it!

2 days later she showed him a prize. It was a beautiful duplicate of an antique painting.

“This’s not the one you showed me the other day !”, he looked at her askance.

“ No it isn’t. I got it from Anita.. I told her I like the painting and if we could exchange…she agreed instantly. I told her she has a fan…she was delighted to hear, and wanted to know who it was”,evidently she gave Anita the 1st prize and took the 2nd prize herself.

Giridhar looked at her, “I was just playing with you, cuckoo…both of you sang well..judges are better than me, they judge better”, he said caressing her hand. She smiled. “I love and value every word from you”, she said closing her eyes briefly; when she opened them he saw the depth of love and trust in them.

It was Giridhar’s unit admission day. Shobha was chatting with him on the phone.

“Ok, good night cuckoo; got a case…have to go now”, his voice was calm.

“O, 2 mins pls”, she begged.

“Go cuckoo…got work..go sleep..good night, sweet dreams…dream about me”, he said.

“Ok love,but meet me tomorrow....morning.. don’t forget….it’s my day off …I’ll be free…don’t forget”, unwillingly she hung up.

The next day:

“I’m dead tired..I came only because you called me”, he said with a tinge of irritation, “Ok, come we’ll have tea, it might help”, he added ,she felt his hand heavy .

It was an open coffee shop with a tarpaulin overhead. They settled down with a cup each. At first she thought he was staring at his tea, but soon realized he was dozing. “Let me help you”, she said and held the cup to his mouth. “Ah! That’s nice”, he said sleepily , taking a sip. “Feeling better?”she asked as he gulped down his last sip.

“I think so”, he said rising. “Just wait”, she hastily finished her half cold tea. She observed him for sometime; he gazed at her with widened, expressionless eyes whenever she asked him something, like a lost child, his answers irrelevant.

“No Giri, you are too exhausted…you must rest..shall I drop you in your hostel?”she asked giving up.

“Noo, I’ll leave after half an hour, and then …”, he tailed off.

“Giri, let’s go”. They took an auto.

“To Stanley Men’s hostel”, she told the driver.

“Hostel or hospital madam?”the driver asked.

“Hostel, pa”, she clarified. Giridhar leaned back and soon began to snore softly.

At the hostel she paid and dispatched the auto.

“Giri , just a moment”, she gave a quick kiss.

“Ay cuckoo, one more”, he slurred like a drunken man.

She came against him , passed her hand on his face drawing his head close to her, kissed his lips..it was a slow, moist, scintillating kiss.

“Ah! That’s driving me mad…one more”, he whispered, his drowsiness seemed to have gone.

“Tomorrow”, she returned, “Tomorrow we’ll see”.

“Careful”, he called after her.

“Yes…eat before you sleep”, she reminded him.

3 years passed : Shobha and Giridhar sat munching peanuts on the beach.

“I’m going to tell mom about us”, Shobha spoke.

“You think it’s safe right now?” asked Giridhar.

“It has to be known some day, no?” she returned.

“Ok your turn first; if you get a green signal I’ll tell my people”, he said.

“I wish it works out well”, she said leaning on his arm, stroking his hand.

“I wish so too”, he said looking at the distant wave.

“Giri!”

“Yes!”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you! I think I’ll die”, she spoke rubbing her face on his arm.

“ …now don’t talk nonsense” he said pinching her cheek in mock anger. “We’ll convince them”, he spoke with confidence kissing her shoulder.

‘Ma, sending a photo, pls give ur opinion on it; he’s from Coimbatore, only son,hindu; parents work in Canara bank;will complete his MD with me. Hope u wont b angry if I say I luv him.Expecting ur answer anxiously…am afraid to talk to pa.lov u ma,bye.

Her mother discussed with her husband. His reaction, “Why not!”

He sent a mail.. ‘Dear Shobha darling,I know you are not a little girl anymore. Giridhar appears to be alright to us. Hope you too are accepted in his family. It is useless to discuss about this any further as making a decision any other way can break you, which I do not want to do. I respect my daughter’s wishes. Sending love. Dad’.

“I can’t discuss over phone or mail..My people are different. I’ve to go personally and explain”, Giridhar said. He went in the weekend and returned to duty on Monday with bloodshot eyes due to sleeplessness and travel. He was too happy it was not his unit admission day.

“What happened ?”Shoba was very eager to know.

“I can’t give the answer”, Giridhar said turning his face away.

“Oh!”she exclaimed.running her tongue on her lips that suddenly went dry.

“I didn’t complete my story “, he said.

She began to tremble, expecting the worst.

‘I told them I took you for D&C twice, due to me”.

“WHAT!”she was shocked “NO…why did you think of such a lie of all lies?”

“Even then they did not agree”, he turned his face away again.

Her heart sank..one because they had refused; second because he had projected her as an indecent individual.

He turned to look; she was not near him; she had walked away to a secluded place in the park .It was beginning to darken. She pulled out her kerchief, folded it diagonally, passed it round her neck but could not finish the knot. Giridhar hurried to her side, “What’re you doing? I was just kidding”, he said collecting her in his embrace. “I got the green signal, cuckoo” he grazed over her face, “You believed all that I said, you muff ?What will they think of me? You stupid!” he pulled her ear. “I got the green signal..it wasn’t difficult..! We can have our first night right now if you choose”, he added mischievously.

“Shut up, don’t be dirty”, she frowned.

“Haha “, he laughed brushing her ear.

They married in June. 14 months later she had a baby boy.

They were hardly aware of the fleeting time until their 22 year old son ,Ranjan, said good bye and flew to London , “I’ll settle there and get a bride, local or Indian”, he said as he waved goodbye.

Giridhar lay on the bed longer than usual. “Giri you’re getting late for work, wake up”, she called out.

“It’s my off today”, he answered without stirring. “You look pale , are you alright dear?” she asked, collecting her bag and steth.

“Yes…you drive yourself today”, he spoke , his voice husky.

“Dr. Giridhar fainted in the ward yesterday, he had an anginal attack”, his colleague informed her in the hospital.

“NO!”Shobha was alarmed .

A week later Giridhar had a massive heart attack. Shobha spent much time by his bedside in the hospital.

‘He needs a transplant…earliest the better, unfortunately we don’t have a donor heart”, cardiac surgeon informed her. She thought for a while, then signed her consent for his surgery; then signed on another set of papers for organ donation. ‘I want him alive at any cost’, she was determined, the doctors could not argue.

Tuesday: Shobha spent the whole day and much of the night with him, touching him , adjusting his sheet. She fed him with orange juice, kissed him, said good night; she lingered on holding his hand for a while as if to say something, then closed the door softly and was gone.

Shobha did not sleep the whole night; she recorded a few of his favorite songs in her voice; videoed some messages including a message for his birthday that was close by; few messages for their son..what to do ,what not to do for his father when she was gone.

At 7am she made her final visit to his side. He was asleep under sedation, his face still pale. She made a noiseless exit.

At 8.30am she was wheeled to the theatre, she smiled around as the anesthetist and surgeons gathered around her. In 20 minutes her organs were removed; liver, pancreas, kidneys, ovaries, uterus, bone marrow , eyes, blood ,finally the heart and lungs. Anesthetist injected the final dose of scoline and cut off the oxygen.... Messages were sent to various leading hospitals about the availability of organs; soon requests were loaded from different quarters of the country.

At 10am Giridhar was taken to the theatre for cardiac replacement.

Ranjan arrived in the evening. The transplant had been successful.

Next morning Giridhar woke cheerfully. Mrs. Giridhar was not seen but Ranjan emerged from the washroom wiping his hands.

“Good morning dad”, he greeted. His dad was surprised and delighted to see his son.

“Mom hasn’t come yet”, he complained.

“Mom’s on a deputation to Kanyakumari for 6 months. She’s left videos for you, dad”.Ranjan was relieved his father was sedated, he did not have to lie again; medications were flowing through IV line.

Ranjan arrived late in the evening, after the last rituals and cremation of the remains of his mother, his eyes red, he had been weeping; his father was still under sedation .

Giridhar wondered why there was absolutely no call from his wife; he wanted to tell her he was fine and had joined duty.

4th Oct: Shobha will surely come today to wish him ,he felt sure. No message , no greeting, he felt empty. Ranjan opened a video..A smiling Shobha appeared … ‘hello love. I know you will be doing well. Happy birthday dear. Sorry I’m not there to wish you in person. Enjoy the day with our son. I’ll always be beating inside you..love you’.

“I want to see your mom”, Giridhar was telling his son. “She loves me so much but I never gave her love enough to equate hers….I didn’t love her enough……”, he spoke looking towards the door, expecting her to walk in any moment.

The next day the wardboy leaked out, “Sir your heart was very much damaged, doctors were talking..I heard them. They said madam donated her heart”.Giridhar walked , ….his brain as if stopped functioning.

Then , Giridhar took out his wallet from his pocket and drew out a photo..Shobha was smiling cheerfully at him. “I don’t know what I’ll do without you; I think I’ll die”, he remembered her saying, her head on his arm… “I never made such a promise…I never bade you goodbye but you left me . I’m so lonely now.. I miss you, my cuckoo”, Giridhar slumped into a chair, dropped his head into his palm…wiped his eyes.

“Good morning doctor”, an unknown patient wished him. He had work to do, he had responsibility. His wife gave him a second life, to execute his responsibility. ‘For you, my cuckoo sweet, I’ll work’, he pushed back the photo into his wallet and shoved it into his pocket, passed his hand over left side of his chest, felt the heart heave and walked down the corridor to his ward to continue his duty but he would certainly miss her dedicated love.

…Concluded.