"Do not be hard on yourself"

I am admitting that I’m in the middle of struggles at this moment. Expected things are not happening on my own scheduled time. It’s hard for me. It feels like I’m lost, and I keep on questioning myself if I had the right choice. So, I can’t stop thinking of those people who will be happy because I made the wrong choice and of course the people who will be sad because I was being stubborn.

My mind is full of what ifs, that I forgot to think that I’m still just starting an all of what could possibly happen is in my hands right now. I’m too much distracted of the things that haven’t happened yet that I may lose my grip of the hope that everything will be fine. I may lose the chance to make my choice the right one.

So, I’m questioning my questions. So what, if this isn’t the right choice? Is it wrong to learn with my mistakes? So what, if people will laugh at me? Are they perfect to laugh at one’s fault? Will they become a better person than me?

At the end of the day. I feel ridiculous not with other people but with myself. These are just my thoughts – “my thoughts”. It’s my fault because of my fear to failure that I judge people right away, those people who love me because I’m afraid they will judge me. I put myself in a difficult situation and that is – being hard to myself.

My Reflection:

Sometimes we are blaming the people around us of our own situations. Why? Because we easily get affected of what we see and hear which give a big impact in every decision we make. It’s hard to admit this but there is no point in blaming anyone. You may disagree with me but in this world it’s not in our capacity to control anything. There are times that even you put your very best, still, it’s not the best for everyone. It’s frustrating, I know that! But we have to learn to let go of the things we can’t grab with our hands.

You may feel that all the efforts and enthusiasm you put in a project were all wasted but that’s how it is. You just give your performance but the decision is not yours. So you just have to let go. But if we’re to look at the bright side the good news is that “we can try again. Yes! Why not think, “I have to let go, for now but watch out because I’ll come back stronger”.

This is how our life becomes exciting, an adventure of conquering not the other people but our own. Our own fears, mistakes and judgements. After all, this battle is not about being the greatest compare to anyone for me this battle is about being greatest by making other people great.