Launchorasince 2014
← Stories

Door of Death

Maybe I am just a little bit different. I cook shit for a living. I don't see status as a scale of success. I am self entitled. I don't need other salutation attached to my name, just me.

Maybe I am just too boring. I eat disappointments for breakfast. I sleep with my depression to death everynight. But I wake up each day with bright ideas in mind. I overthink a lot. I formulate thoughts inside my dummy head. Some are real, some are hypothesis. It's just me and my head.

Maybe I'm just too hard to understand. People don't get me. I don't even get myself sometimes. But it's just fine. I just talk things out. I no longer believe in violence. I'd be honest, for once I was also a rebel child. So I thought before, that if I can't get things through prayer then I can have it by force. But I am done with that. I see now that words can also kill humans.

Maybe I really changed a lot. I no longer chase fame and I don't intend to be on top. I am way too done with all of that. I learned how to live a simple life. Because I know that the more attention I gather, the more hatred I attract. I also learned the hard fact that beauty fades in no time. As I get older, maybe little wiser but somewhat uglier. I gain age, I gain fats. How I wish I gain height as well. That would be pleasant.

But I am not hating any part of it. I am comfortable with my own shape. Both physically and mentally. I am happy for what I've become. This maybe a little too far from what I fantazised when I was a kid, but this is way too close to reality. And that makes me contented.

I may not have the best things in the world but I know that I've done the best that I can. I may not be the best version yet of myself but I know I still have plenty of rooms to open, to explore. I am not scared to lose another battle, for I know that I am more capable of fighting than I was the other day.

I strongly agree that experience is the best teacher. I firmly believe that there is always room for improvement. There is always another to open after I shut one door behind. The only door that you'll never get replaced is the one they call door of death.

--------
via-cookingshit