They say dreams say a lot about what's in your heart. They could be your deepest desire: you know, the kind of dreams where you just float like the clouds. The ones with the rainbows, sunshine, cotton candies, and carousels. The ones where you were unbelievably happy and you don't want to wake up. Dreams where you just get what you think you want to have.
I'd say, my dreams consist of my life with my current boyfriend. I dream about the dates I want to have with him. Last week, I've dreamt about us going to the amusement park, getting on every ride the place can offer. My heart blossoming like a vase of flowers. By these dreams, I am always reminded how much I love him and how much he makes me feel like I am a daisy in a sea of red roses.
Dreams can also be a nightmare: the kind where you bawl your eyes out tomorrow morning. The kind where your darkest fear show, the moments you don't ever want to happen in reality. These dark thoughts linger at the back of your head like a chewed gum under the desk. They just sit there and once you touched them, they'll stick with you. We all hate these kinds of thoughts, but we do dream about them.
My nightmares sometimes consist of creepy places with three-eyed monsters. This is where I turn into an amazona and fight for my life. But mostly, my deepest fear is my boyfriend leaving me. Telling me that I'm not going to be enough for him. Making me feel like being a daisy is not much of a good thing after all.
In between these dreams and nightmares, there are strange times where I dream about you. These dreams always start off to that same day 4 years ago when you told me that I couldn't do anything that will make you stay. Then you left me. That day is still my darkest thought, the feeling of being a dead flower in a vase full of tears. I don't know why, but these dreams are followed by a different scene. This time, you're chasing me, saying that you regret leaving me. In these dreams, you are different. Your eyes tell me that you still love me and that you will cherish me. But I can't go back, because someone else already had my heart. Someone who doesn't put me in a vase because he waters my roots and provides the sunshine.
Sometimes I wonder about those dreams. These dreams about you. Are they good or bad? Are they dreams or nightmares? Are you my deepest desire or my deepest fear?