Eulogy of Dreams

Frustrated, well, that is exactly how I feel.

Yes frustrated , because the futility and pettiness of every passing day has ashamed me for quite a while now.  Frustrated , because of slowly becoming someone I never intended to be , becoming something I've always mocked my entire life , "another corporate robot".

Thus today, here I am ,  ashamed and frustrated , writing a eulogy for my slowly dying and decaying self-esteem.

Well I guess that's the price you have to pay eventually for cheating on your plans ,  for choosing the safe and easy path. I wish , Robert Frost had written this as well in his poem, that would have saved me from this disgust and trouble.
 
This happens to be my 448th day here , and tonight like many other nights is again sleep deprived. In these 448 days  , I have quietly  watched my complacency slow poisoning  my potential and yearnings.

Its not that life here is not good, in fact its great, to be honest. But may be I am not cut out for this or this is not cut out for me.  All this festivity barely qualifies as a life to me as I don't  belong here. And now , the monotony and dullness is taking its toll on me.

Since I can remember ,  I always was a standout,  the dreamer, the optimist, who always wanted to do something big, something worth living and something which makes a change. But here I am,  stuck in the cobwebs of this mundane corporate life. The ease and familiarity of comfort zone almost makes you forget all that you had planned for, all that you ever dreamt of. You don't see your potential being wasted, because today , today just seems so easy and wonderful, and as the header of this note says " A smooth sea, never made a skilled sailor" ,  this is not a very good place to be in, at least for someone  who has such big expectations and no true happiness can be attained like this. 

Now obviously,  neither I possess time-turner like Hermione Granger nor I can tap into the speed force like  The Flash , so that I may be able to go back in time and fix all of this. But yes, Its better late than never. With the realization of  pointlessness of my today,  with the realization that there is much more to life apart from  salaries and parties,  I can start afresh towards a better tomorrow, to a tomorrow where I can be, what I always wanted to be, i.e. "significant".  And  the rebuilding begins....