eyes

those eyes were our beginning. 

i did not want to look at you, i made every excuse to avoid looking back. it was awkward. it was uncomfortable. i did not want you to see me, to see through me. 

but when the rush of emotions came bursting through like unwanted guests opening the doors, and all excuses to keep it sealed was no longer acceptable, i had decided to passingly look into your eyes,  but then they locked, none of us could look away, no one wanted to. they were magical. beautiful. and that's when every brick of the wall i have built that separated me from the rest of the world fell one by one, piece by piece. it was the most serene destruction i have felt and i did not do anything to stop it because i didn't want to. 

that was how we started. from your eyes that looked at me with admiration. to say that those eyes saw me from the sea of people around you is an understatement, because those eyes only saw me. like noises fading as it was lost listening to music, like the foul odor overpowered by the scent of my favorite food, like a mouth struggling to find the right words then eventually finding the perfect ones. like everything fell into the background and i was your focus; nothing else mattered.

for a long time, just those eyes were enough. those eyes are like a nose, sensing everything wrong, smelling even the slightest hint of sadness in me. as they become ears listening to everything, then wanting to take away every pain, every heartache, every bruise, and every scar. then they become hands, that without even touching me, comes in contact with me, touching my soul. your eyes were also your feet, wandering through me, exploring every detail i am composed of. and your eyes were also the most annoying mouth, it never stopped from telling me they love me. it was irritating having those eyes be the noisiest, but i have to admit, i did not want it to stop speaking.

but it did. 

at some point it did. and they were enough, to sense that there is something wrong. they listened to the fading sound of the heartbeat. they touched the heart and tightly gripped at it, then letting go at the most unfortunate time. then they walked away, wandering far from what used to be home. and i tried to chase you, forcing you to look into my eyes, to tell me what happened. then those eyes, the once who spoke of sincerity and love, are the same eyes telling another story of regret and apology. i tried to remind you that those eyes are only meant for me, that i was the home it was supposed to go to, or perhaps that's what i believed in. 

your eyes are special, they can speak, smell, walk, touch, hear, they feel, and they know. they know exactly what they needed, what they wanted. and from the looks of it, i am neither of the two. 

then suddenly, your eyes did what they were meant to do. they looked at me. and those eyes see through me, the sadness, the emptiness. everything. and they blinked. your eyes were tired but there were no tears. 

i wondered how those eyes became shallow when they were once deep and full of emotions. because when your eyes looked straight at me, the only thing i could see was how they could not wait to look towards another direction. when did those eyes become silent? when did those eyes change? when was it left by love? 

but it was not your eyes left by love, right? it was just that you were looking at me. your eyes were silent because it spoke to someone else. it was not your eyes who stopped loving, it just ended with me.