I knew I was falling for nothing.
I knew that for sure, from the moment I laid my eyes on you, you're going to break my heart. But I thought, if it was worth it, then I will risk everything I have
But I was wrong, silly me. I doubted my decision for letting you in to my life but I didn't paused and think twice. Instead, I let you enter recklessly.
At first, you were the usual guy that would pick me up at our house whenever we have a date. You know me, I'm a big eater so you want to eat a lot so I won't feel sorry since you always pay for the bill.
We'd go to the arcade and play some games there. You know me so well.
At night, we'd talk as if we're not yet tired. Midnight talks are the best for me. We'd talk fpr countless hours or we'll play mobile games and compete each other. I don't even know if you really suck at games or you just want me to win. But I know for sure that we had fun.
I wake up 4 am in the morning and you'd set an alarm just to wake up early so we could talk since I have a class at 6 am. Then you'd go back to sleep if it's already 6. That's sweet for me. I liked you even more.
Even if it's not your responsibility, you'd pick me up and we'll stop by at a fast food chain and eat. You're good at magic, you told me that you have no money but whenever we go out, you'd treat me somewhere nice as if I'm a princess. Why are you like that, you're good at making me fall.
I got lost one time and I cried and called you. You got worried and ended up wearing two different flip flops and wearing a shirt with a hole underneath. I chuckled but at the same time, I was moved. You're the best for me dear.
I'd talked about my idols to you. Usually, my friends, they'll just ignore me but you, you're different. You listen to me everytime I talk. I'm talkative, but you tried to keep up with me. I appreciate that.
I keep on talking about wanting to eat something and minutes later, you're outside our house carrying that.
I always want ice cream on midnight but I can't go outside so instead, you'd go for me and bring it in our house.
Even if I don't want you to spend some money for my leisure, you'd still buy me stuff that I want.
You're always there for me whenever I cry or laugh or get angry. You can make me feel every emotion I can feel.
You know that I'm moody. But you knew how to handle my tantrums. That made me love you even more.
You didn't hesitated to open up to me even if you're a man. That's brave. You showed how fragile you are so I have the reason not to break you.
You are perfect for me. Shame those who call you ugly without even considering your beautiful personality.
Everything was perfect. I didn't even regret anything. I was willing to commit myself to you.
"You have dilated cardiomyopathy. Any unnecessary emotions should be lessen dear. You cannof stay up late if you want to live longer" the doctor said.
That broke me, not you. I started to push you away because I don't want to leave you hanging if ever I die. I want to cherish everything but I know that it's just impossible.
The second I hesitated whether I'd let you enter my life or not, is the moment I realized that I entered yours.
You keep on crying saying that you'd wait for me but I told you, don't. You're so precious to me I don't want you to suffer just because I am.
I told you that I'd move on. And I did. I cannot even explain how proud I am to myself for overcoming the greatest chapter of my life for now. You know how hard it is for me to remove you in my life. I just can't stay with you love. I want to but I can't. You make me happy to the point that you can kill me. I love you but I'm letting you go. For your sake, for my sake, I'd keep you in my mind remembering every moment we spend together. It is indeed a right love at a wrong time and at a wrong life. I hope you can loosen the grip as well. You deserve more. I love you dear. I will always love you. I guess this is the end of our chapter. We can now go on with our lives now that the pages about our love story was torn.