I am letting you go
That's what I told you that night
With the feelings that grow
Left me crying while I watch you go off my sight
It was two years or so
I forgot counting the time
All the happiness I felt
Returned as pain like it was a crime
Was it a crime to love someone like you?
Was it a crime to be cherished as well?
Was it a crime to pray of someday being with you?
Was it a crime to love when I can't tell?
I can't tell if you feel the same
I can't tell myself to have the courage to tell you
I can't tell if should I take the blame
I can't tell what was too hard for you
Can I blame you for not feeling the same?
Can I blame myself for falling in love when I didn't intend to?
Can I blame you for confusing me like a lame?
Can I blame myself for giving up of something you were unsure to?
And so I decided to let you go
On a night I wish I could forget
In the middle of the winter snow
I began my life's biggest regret
I don't know how it all started
Was it when we were friends?
Or was it when we suddenly avoided
The questions of my heart that I could not send?
I found myself crying in my bed
In a day when I just feel so dizzy and sad
And maybe then did I realize how red
Is pain when I am missing you so bad
It startled me when you called
In the middle of the night
But I jumped off my bed and strolled
Never knew that I could hug you that tight
You told me you like me like a sister or so
I told you I like you more than friends can be
You told me you love me like someone you look up to
I told you I love you, unsure if its love that used to be
I asked you not once but a million times
Are we just friends, or aren't we?
All you did was confuse me all this time
How pathetic is my heart that can't set you free
And so that night I said goodbye
A farewell I could never deny
It caused great pain like its killing me inside
But I held on my tears as I looked at you in the eyes
You, being unsure and confuse
Leaves me hanging in this bridge alone
Not knowing if waiting for you is of no use
Until all these thoughts gave me chills to the bone
It is sad and ugly, that I know
If you ask me if I will ever regret this, I won't do
What do we reap of a sad love story that we sow
Just sadness and grief in time that can't undo
And so in between these pages
I am letting you go
So you can find the love for ages
And I can save my heart from being low
But why am I crying in this time of the night?
Why do I still hear your voice begging me to stay?
Why am I still in pain, in mourn, and in fright?
Why do I feel the dark cold nights despite the light of the day?
Why do I still worry if you're fine and dandy?
When I can't even find myself closing my eyes
Why do I still have that lonely memory?
It keeps me awake and crying even in the sunrise
That night when I said goodbye
I could never turn back time
But I still ache and I still have a deep sigh
For how love can turn to be a crime
I am feeling lonely and broken inside
But darling, I'm never looking back
Even if the memory is poking me beside
I will just cry the pain until it scars the crack
I wish you happiness and bloom
With beautiful flowers of spring
I wish you healing from the scars of the doom
With love songs that never die and continuously ring
Even if I am no longer part of that happiness you gain
I promise to keep walking away and letting go
Bearing the burns like a falling rain
Holding in the frozen end as heavy as a winter snow