2 0 1 9

Some people say that 2019 is their unlucky year, while some believe that it is the luckiest.

Some people say that 2019 is a season of disasters and tears, while others see it as a year of success stories.

I guess for me, it is everything.

Let me begin it with being an unfortunate year.

No. Not really an unlucky one but probably an unfortunate one.

Last February, I saw an AdPost with regards to a writing competition held by a publishing company in Manila wherein the chosen poem collection gets the opportunity to be published. And not just some publishing, but a book launching!

Yes. A BOOK LAUNCHING OPPORTUNITY.

I signed up for it, holding on to the hope that maybe, just maybe, this may inspire me to go back in writing. However, when our job is asking us to be there, we just can't say no.

I tried. God knows how hard I tried. I pulled a month of all-nighters. Sleeping only 5 hours a week just to finish the book. But then, the more I tried, the more it slipped away from my hands.

And I ended up congratulating the chosen writer. Wiping the tears in my eyes as I stare at the poems I have written but never submitted.

And then, there comes luck.

I got to set myself free from the cause of my stress and anxiety attacks for the first 5 months of 2019.

Others may see this as a decision I had to make for myself, but to me, it is still a piece of luck in my life.

As we all know, not everyone is given the chance to be free. Some people had to stay in prisons for a crime they never did. Some had to stay in relationships of toxicity and negativity just to give their kids a complete family. Some had to work for a job they never liked because they were not given a chance to attain their dream job's educational qualification.

So to me, being able to resign from a job that stresses me is already a form of a blessing and luck.

A season of disasters and tears.

Now, this is the hardest part to write but let me write it anyway.

May of 2019, he came to my life again 3 years after the most disastrous breakup of my life that distracted me in so many ways which resulted to losing my academic scholarship, slipped opportunity of studying in Japan as an exchange student of the university, and failing 3 subjects in one school year. And those things made up a year of extension to my college years.

You know what's funny? I still accepted him while holding on to his promises of love and to the lie that he changed.

And it turned out, he really did change a lot. He simply changed from a complete jerk to a wholesome cheater.

And here's the funniest thing. HE GHOSTED ME THE SECOND TIME AROUND. And in addition to this, I just got a big news that he had a child with his ex-girlfriend.

I know. I was a fool to believe him after those years when I suffered so much because of him and he never did anything to help me out. I was a fool to believe that everyone deserves a second chance.

Because the real thing about second chances is- Not everyone deserves a second chance but those who deserves it. Everyone may beg for a second chance with you but remember that not everyone who comes back, stays. So make sure to choose the one WHO STAYS A LIFETIME.

And then winter came and showed me that 2019 isn't that bad at all. It was a year of success stories that were kept hidden in a corner of my heart.

I graduated in my bachelor degree last April.

I became an engineer at the age of 22.

Got a job from the university I just graduated from.

Teaching in an institution where learning and growth is forever.

Became an adviser of an academic organization where I once was a student president.

I was able to teach students that showed me how one's attitude in school affects their character outside the campus.

I was able to inspire people who felt like giving up in their dreams just because the world was too harsh on them for years.

Walked in the aisle on a graduation day not as a graduate about to see the real world outside her college fantasies but as a faculty who is about to witness how these graduates face this world in the future.

Met a lot of people in the way. Waved hands with people from a strange place whom are now acauaintances.

Shaked hands with unfamiliar faces whom I now call colleagues.

Exchanged drinks with strangers whom I now call friends.

Time can really change a person even in a short while.

Places can really bridge two unfamiliar people.

And decisions can really create unexpected twists that will either break you or teach you.

So 2019 is everything to me. A year of opportunities and failures. A season of smiles and tears.

So to you who is wary of what 2020 has to offer, smile for a bit my friend.

No life is perfect all-year round. Just be thankful that it came and you learned from it.

And to 2020, you have finally begun. Let's make this life an interesting one again.