Fandom effect

Who is a fangirl you ask??

This is what the internet has for you.. A rabid breed of human female who is obsessed with either a fictional character or an actor. Trust me with this... This is 200% true!

You wake up every morning to an alarm whose tune you have spent hours deciding... You wake up to the tune of a show or a movie that has changed your life in ways you could never have imagined. You get ready and leave to college or school  and open your books.. You are staring at the page but all you can think about is the fanfic that you read the previous night! your OTP and the actor you fell in love with! So obviously you get caught for paying "attention" to your teachers and everyone laughs at you. This doesn't stop you from day dreaming! You keep thinking about the scenes from yesterday's episode or the lines from the last chapter... You somehow manage to survive school and come home to do what you love the most... Procrastinate! You go on to tumblr, twitter, Facebook, YouTube and stalk people for hours together... like posts ,stare at the pictures... laugh at the comments! It feels so nice to know that you are not the only crazy person who does these things! Your day  pretty much goes like this and at nights... you have two options.. 

1. Read/Write a fanfic

2.Imagine a fanfic!

Me? I usually end up doing the second one! Thinking of impossible things feels great! Thousands of thoughts... all of which you want to be true but none of which will probably become a canon! It hurts! It hurts like hell and i mean it!

Being a fangirl isn't easy! It's hella hard job! One.. people think you're crazy!! two... You have heart breaks, feels and  three... those asdfghjkl moments when sometimes you start getting scared of yourself! But the real big problem? Finding a person who will accept you for being a fangirl! Finding another fan! Because what is clary without simon? what is harry without ron? and what is dean without sam?

Hello Internet!

My life is pretty much what i said it is! Yes! I am a typical fangirl and I'm proud of it! My life was pretty much boring and simple until two years back.. I was a normal kid who went to school, studied, got good grades, had friends, had a social life! It was a full on normal life! Then what happened? The internet happened!

One day i accidentally logged on to my Facebook(that was not the accidental part) and opened a page related to a fandom! Now little did i know that this one page is going to change my life! This is where i found out about Narnia!( Yes! the first time i found out about Narnia wasn't when Lucy opened the closet!) I wanted to know more and i read the book. It felt great and i was still safe... far away from becoming what i am today. Then came Percy Jackson. These books gave me a lot of friends.. (they might not be real to you but they are to me) this was when i really started to get into trouble. One after another i started reading books and (Thanks to a very good friend) TV shows came along. One day i was a normal school going kid and suddenly i realize i am a fangirl crying over dead pets and gay couples! When and how did this happen? Heaven knows! 

I no longer have a social life and i no longer go out with friends on weekends coz i'm busy doing nothing but staring at my computer screen. My replacement for all those? Lots of books.. lots of worlds.. lots of fictional friends and loves and most importantly... The internet and my fandom families!The internet is pretty much the reason for what i am today! what i became and i am really really thankful to it.It is also the reason you are probably wondering 'Why the hell am i reading this?' well if you are not wondering... Thank you for feeling what i felt! that could be the only reason you are still reading this! So yeah... internet,my awesome friend.. HELLO!

Heat of the moment!

It was one of those rarely fine Tuesdays and I was sitting in my class and my maths teacher was talking something about integration! i wasn't paying much attention as usual and was busy drawing the fandom symbols on my book. Now i'm not a great artist but come-on! being a fangirl i knew very well how to draw some symbols. It was a usual day with my teacher talking non stop about some real life situations where we use integration(what? we use that in real life? what are we going to do? integrate a pizza slice to get a whole pizza?)So i was deeply engrossed in my art work when i suddenly realized that the whole class was silent. I naturally looked up to see all of them,including my teacher stare at me. I stood up and was asked to solve a problem on the board. I looked at the problem and I was lucky as it was a really simple one. (Like i said i was once a good student) I went on to solve it and came back to sit at my table when i noticed a boy staring at me like 'I am so proud of you'. Now I'm not a specialist in reading people's expressions but i was sure that's what it meant. 'This is weird! Who the Hades is he? and why is he proud of me?' I sat down at my desk and dared to look back at him. He was smiling at me... a friendly smile. My lips automatically curved into a smile. He didn't seem that bad! Also, he was kinda sweet!

Internet.. sorry for cheating on you!

As soon as i reached home gods know why but i went straight up to the mirror and saw at my reflection!I didn't look that bad and i felt a little happy... again! i don't know why. I know i wasn't all that 'most beautiful girl on the world' beautiful, but i wasn't sad about my looks. I am 5 feet 4 inches and wasn't obese(which is weird coz most of the time i eat sleep and sit but not exercise) I have to admit it.. i love my eyes!they are not exactly almond or fish or any type that fit the description of perfect eyes but i liked them. Big brown eyes were always my favorite type. Being an Indian, i had the typical Indian black hair which wasn't a problem for me.Honestly! I was always proud of how i looked, not too bad and not too beautiful. I never really cared about how i looked in the past few years but today... today is different! A guy smiled at me.. the last time a guy smiled at me.. i don't even remember when that happened. I suddenly felt self conscious. I wanted to look good tomorrow. not that it mattered,but yeah! I have to look better.presentable.After all i was going to make a new friend tomorrow. I rummaged through my closet for about half an hour(which is the most i ever spent searching for something to wear) and decided to wear my all time favorite. blue and white tank top with a dark blue jean. I sat down on the couch with my ice cream(in case you didn't guess... it was for emergency cases like the sudden death of my favorite character.. you cant expect me to go out and buy myself an ice-cream when my baby died). I looked a my laptop which was on my bed across the table and for the first time in years i was thinking about someone other than fictional boys. As crazy as this might sound i felt like i was betraying them, like i was cheating on my internet life.All of this because some random guy in my class (who i didn't know existed till today) whom i instantly felt connected with. In that one second i felt like we have been through the same things and we have lived the same life. Not really together but we went through pretty rough times and always knew we were there for each other.  Was i over-thinking? was I thinking so much about him because it was my first real life interaction(not really an interaction actualy) with a real person and not end up looking crazy??I have no idea! I was thinking about this all night and fell asleep.

For the first time in forever..

Yeah! For the first time in what felt like forever many things happened.. first off i woke up without needing an alarm.. i got into the shower and was in there for what felt like another forever.. When i came out i didn't feel like wearing the dress i chose yesterday! i searched through my clothes for fifteen minutes and ended up wearing the same clothes. I was eager to go to school which was another first in forever. As soon as got out of my house and looked at my watch i had a mini heart attack.. i have three minutes to catch my bus so i had to run. After that mini sprint i finally got into my bus and sat at a window. I plugged in my earplugs and was playing songs on maximum sound(ignoring the messages on my phone that listening to songs on high volume might cause hearing problems.. like i didn't know!) One direction! Perfect! "baby you light up my world like nobody else..." how i wish someone said it to me! I hated me when i felt so typical but hey! ass much as anyone tries to hide it... every girl feels the same way at some point of their life.

As soon as we reached the school i went straight to my class room and was a little dissapointed to see that the smiling stranger was nowhere to be seen. It felt stupid not knowing his name. I am sure he was in my class for the past 2 years. Helplessly i sat at my desk and saw the time... 8:45. fifteen more minutes for the class to start. 'Where are you???' my inner voice was screaming for the boy. As if for a reply i saw him enter the class. 'Oh my god!!!! asdfgjhjl!!!! he is here!! i didn't quite notice it yesterday but he is a fanboy! (how did i not notice that you ask? well i'm an idiot you see.. He has this big fat book in his hand which i first thought was a textbook then i looked at it and realized it was the da vinci code... huh! Big books!)

I was confused! Do i smile and wave? Do i get up and go talk to him or do i ignore him and go back to my daily work of ignoring my social life and acting like a lunatic? I ended up doing the stupidest thing i could! I stood up and gestured him that the seat next to me was empty.'Why did i do that? what the hell was i thinking? It's not like he was going to come sit with me!' Oh gods! Now he is gonna think i'm crazy too! great job Shona!(yeah! that is my name... sorry forgot to mention that). He looked in my direction, looked down at the seat and walked towards me. 'Is he going to come sit here?? woah! This is going to be fun!' What happened next shattered my heart into a thousand pieces and i was heartbroken for twenty whole minutes. He walked right past me and sat int the seat behind me. Great! I just made a fool out of me in front of the only real person i found interesting in months.

Always watch your back...

At this point i want to introduce the only person crazy enough to put up with me till date and not be scared of me... *Drum rolls* Ash! Aishwarya was my friend from my third grade which makes us friends for a really long time of seven years. She is patient enough to bear me for so long and is still doing the same thing. Ash is the only reason i am still in the school coz it's because of her that i survive all classes. She writes down my notes, my assignments and informs me about important stuff like 'dude there is an exam tomorrow' when all along i keep reading some fantasy series. She always sits in front of me but today i decided to to change seats today. I wasn't going to sit in-front of him after what just happened. So Ash ended up sitting in between us. 

Chemistry class started and i decided that i am going to actually listen to what sir says. I regretted my choice right after ten minutes. It was some boring class about thermodynamics, one of my least favorites. So i ended up kicking Ash to get her attention. I turned back to look at her when she gave me one death stare and i didn't have any choice but to listen to the class. Seriously! It's not like i'm going to coat metals or measure voltages to earn my living. I hated this class. My day started so good only to turn into this. Then things changed. Ash must have been bored because she started calling me and my spirits lifted up. Now I could do some talking. I need to find out what his name is. I slipped my hand back to reach the slip Ash was trying to give me. I have been doing this for years now that i knew four kicks means take the slip you idiot!

 I took it and it said 'What happened between you and kartik? Why am i sitting between you both?' So.. His name's Kartik! Nice!

 'Nothing! What would happen? I don't even know who this Kartik fellow is'

'Are you kidding me? He is in our same class for like 5 years!'five??? I thought it was just two! How did i not notice him the first three years??

'What??? five? i didnt even notice him till yesterday!'

'Yesterday? What happened yesterday?'

'I accidentally looked in his direction and he was smiling at me! I felt an instant connection kind of thing like they show in movies! (don't you dare laugh at me) But today he kinda ignored me and i ended up making a fool of myself.So yeah! End of the topic! No more discussion about kartik!'

'What???? All of this happened? When?'

'Like i said.. yesterday! When you were busy solving physics!'

'So you wanna talk to him huh?'

'Can we not talk about him please?'

'Just this one... do you want to be friends?'

'Yeah! i think i do!'

'Then why don't you tell him directly?'What?? is she out of her mind? He walked right past me when i pointed him to sit with me.. How can she want me to tell him that i had this feeling like i know him? like i could see that he was a fanboy? like i wanted to be his friend coz I've hardly met any fan from any fandom!

'Are you out of your mind??' I wrote and held the slip at the back of my desk but she didnt take it.I waited but nothing happened.My hand started to ache and i turned back to give her my irritated look but what i saw shocked me to the core.In the seat Ash was supposed to be in was Kartik.. his hands folded and he was looking at me with a triumphant smile!

fandoms are family..

I've seen it on the internet that being a fangirl is hard. Do you know how hard it is to be a fanboy? I mean we do the same stuff as fangirls but most people don't even know we exist! Guys like us, we keep scouting for fangirls and try to make them like us without giving away that we belong to the same group of crazy.The one thing in favor of us? We know what exactly gets us on the good side of them! Now explaining how i became a part of fandoms is difficult.. it just happened! The troubles it caused... that's easy to talk about!

When you have a social life, when you go out and talk to people, your existence will be known to people. Sitting in the last bench and reading books will not help you in raising your social quotients. I found this out a little late and the damage was already done. I was neck deep into this and i didn't want to get out. As typical as it may sound i wanted to be different. being a fanboy made me that. So i don't care what people think of me but i am what i am.

I've decided one thing long ago that if i ever meet a person who goes through all these, I am gonna become their best friend so we could freak out together! That is exactly what happened today in math. I was reading this book which was in a really intense scene and the class goes all silent. For a second i thought they were looking at me and i suddenly looked up. It wasn't me they were staring at. It was the girl who never looked up in the class.(yeah i do look up sometimes) I saw the board and the problem she was supposed to solve wasn't that bad. I was about to go back to my reading when i noticed something. The thing she was doing till now... she was drawing.. not the artist type drawing. Those were the symbols of my family. The fandoms! She was one of them.. a fangirl! That is why she never looked up! (The thing about tumblr is that it makes you accept every member of any fandom as your family and yeah it feels good to have a big bunch of crazy idiots for a family)

She went to the board and solved the problem in three steps. Smart her! Right when she was about to go back to her seat and before i was about to go back to my book she saw me and i couldn't help but smile! I was proud of her! why shouldn't i be? She was a part of my unending family who just dissapointed my teacher by solving a problem which everyone thought she couldn't!Thats the way! You go girl!

Pretending game..

The next day when i walked into the class i searched for this girl and wasn't dissapointed. I don't know why but i kind of expected this.. she was dressed up. Not like she doesn't dress-up everyday(not that i ever noticed) but she could pass by as a normal school girl (and not somebody who would cry over fictional characters and not care about what others thought). She stood up as i entered and pointed at the seat ext to her. I was tempted to go sit there for a second, but then i gained my senses and went to sit at the back. why? No apparent reason. I just thought it wasn't me she was signalling. I mean i wouldn't be stupid enough to think that she tired herself to get ready for me and that she wanted to talk to me just because of one smile. though i wouldn't mind if that happened but it was hardly possible. So i walked past her and sat at the back ant it was then i realized that she was actually pointing to me. The look on her face gave it away and before i could say or do anything else she moved to the front row and i was left with Aishwarya sitting in the middle.

I wasn't sure how but i had to swap places with Ash. She wouldn't agree to come sit int the last seat that easily. I was thinking of what to say wen suddenly i saw her turning back and then some silent message was exchanged by these two and she turned front. That's when i got the idea and promised Ash that i would keep her friend busy during the whole period and that she could listen to the class in peace but had to swap places with me. I wasn't surprised when she agreed. I got to know her name from Ash.. Shona! It was a common yet nice name. That was when another idea flashed and with the help of Ash i did what i thought. I pretended to be Ash.

she took me to be Ash which wa stotally 'luck in my favor' coz she didnt look back till the time when i didnt take her slip and when she finally saw me.. an understanding passed between us! "We are stupid enough to not talk to each other for five years!" and that.. is how i met one of my closest friends everr! She was the only person i could totally freak out with about books and show and i better be the only person she could do these with! It wasn't that easy thoug.. our choices were different but once you get innto this... like tumblr said "fandoms are family.. and family means no one sits alone in the mental institsit alone in the mental hospital!"