If you think Feminism means Man-hating , then just hold on a bit and read the next line...
10 years of my life I was in girl’s school so I would be the last person who would be a man-hater!!!
I love men!!!
And yes I am a feminist!!!
And yes I can be both…because feminism does not mean man-hating!!
You know whenever I tell people that I am a feminist…their first question is…
Then why do you need a ladies compartment in local train?
Or why do you need separate seats in buses?
So I am here to put an end to these questions forever…
I will tell you why we need a ladies compartment?
I was 13years old…still getting used to the developments in my body…
And trust me it’s hard for a teen girl to come to terms that not only will she have periods for most of her life but she will also need to wear a bra for the rest of her life...
And it’s a difficult phase…
I so vividly remember dressing up that day because it was my cousin’s wedding…
I spent days putting rose water on my face to get that glow, because my crush would be there attending the wedding…
I had bought this lovely red lehenga with bandhani print…
My mom didn’t allow me to wear heels at that age…so I secretly burrowed it from my friend…
I had planned it so well in my head…
I will ask my parents to go before me and once they settled I would wear my heels and cross paths with my crush…
And like it happens in Bollywood movies, I will trip in my heels and he will hold me…
There will be music in the background and roses will fall from the sky…
We will look into each other’s eyes and fall in love and get married and be happily ever after couple…
When the day finally arrived I pretended to get late, so my parents would leave before me…
The wedding hall was just 2 blocks away from my house…
After some 30mins after my parents left, I locked the house and carefully tucked the key in bag…
As I was walking towards the venue I could see the decorated hall from the distance…
I also noticed a man on a bicycle coming from the opposite direction…
As he crossed me, he pinched my breasts…
And it really hurt…
Maybe not all of you know that when a girl is developing breasts she is in pain all the time…
That is how the body works…
And he pinched me…
I ran…
As soon as I reached the venue I rushed in the washroom…
I cried…
I heard a knock on the door and it was my mom…
She saw me rushing into the washroom sensing there is something wrong…
I told her what happened and she said “He is the dirty one…not you…and you are safe honey…nothing happened…don’t think about it”
I don’t remember much of that evening except that I refused to let go of my mom’s hand…
Few months later I happened to discuss this episode with my cousin who is same age as me…
She told me once when she was walking someone slapped hard on her butt…
She thought it was her fault that she has a big butt…
Since then she started sleeping on her back hoping to turn her butt flat…
She suggested the same to me…she said if you sleep on your stomach maybe your breasts won’t go and it will be all fine…
13year old girls talking about how to stop their growing body…Imagine!!!
Of course if anything of the sort happens again I will scare the shit out of the guy…maybe even 13year’s old do it…but not all will…not all our strong…
Let’s not blame them that they should be strong…let’s protect our young people and give them space to grow up as strong individuals…
Let’s back off our expectations a little bit…
Because impact of such incidences last longer than you think…
I still wear a loose jacket when I am riding my bike…hoping it will hide my curves… and if some pervert is coming he might think I am a boy and not a girl…
I know it makes no sense…but it’s psychological…can’t help it…
If a woman is going from Thane to Andheri changing 2 trains in between I want her to be safe…
And hence I want a ladies compartment…
If I am traveling 20km in a bus I don’t want an old uncle sticking to me like a leech pretending that it’s rushy and he can’t help it…
Life is hard already I don’t want to deal with immoral men traveling in public transport..
So I want a ladies seat on it…
Yes I am a feminist and I need a ladies compartment!!!