Finding Souls: Part One of A Very Short Story

“The wind feels nice, doesn’t it?” Says the man who looks like he’s in his late 20s and then continued inhaling the nicotine on his hand.

“It does.” Jessie let out a heavy sigh.

Silence filled their surroundings.

“What’s your story?”

“Do I have to have a story?”

“Everyone has a story.”

Jessie smirked. “Do you really want to know?”

The man dropped his cigarette and stepped on it purposely making sure to have properly killed the fire. Extending his hands he says, “I’m Alexis. You can call me Lex or Lexis or Alex which I highly recommend but feel free to call me anything you want.” Jessie stared at the man—Alex’s extended hands but instead of responding to the offered handshake, she puts her hands in her pocket and looked the man in the eye. They shared a 5 second eye contact until the ma—Alex fell into submission and decided to take his offered handshake back.

“I’m Jessie.” She smiled.

They’re sitting on a bench facing a breath-taking view filled with city lights somewhere in Antipolo. It’s a place where one’s mind will surely be at ease.

“I’m 26 years old. A freelance videographer. I live in the big populated city which is by the way filled with too much polutio—.” Jessie cut him off. “So you’re from Manila?” Alex sighed. “Yes and you just ruined my introduction.” They both laughed. Alex continued his introduction while they both look afar. “So yes, I’m from Manila and I came here for a client meeting. You?”

Jessie looked at him for a second then looked far away again. “Ever heard of mental breakdowns?” Alex looked at Jessie. “Are you in the middle of one?” He asked.

“Yes. This is my first time running away though. All these years of suffering from things these monsters are telling me, I finally got the courage to run away but then I realized that the monsters I’m talking about are in the depths of my head so seemingly, I just did something useless.” Jessie took a deep breath.

“You’ve tried seeking professional help?”

“I have. But not even those ‘professionals’ could understand. They just gave me a bunch of pills that I apparently need to take every after meal.”

Alex stared into Jessie’s eyes. Jessie did the same. “Oh. Don’t look at me like that. I don’t need your pity.”

“You know pity and sympathy are two different things, right?” They, then again, gazed at the busy city in front of them. “Of course I do. I’m Jessie, after all.” She muttered under her breath.

“You sound like a narcissist.” Jessie smirked and Alex continued. “When I was younger, I had a father who beats me up every night. At 17, I was molested by my professor. It was a very traumatizing event for me and after that, I suffered with anxiety, paranoia, depression, insomnia, and self-loathe. Until now, I still do. Things have become harder to me. I was just a very young boy, I mean, how am I supposed to deal with such acts?” Silence filled their surroundings. Jessie didn’t know what to say so she looked him in the eye instead. “I can see you in my peripheral vision so stop pitying me.” Alex joked. “You know pity and sympathy are two different things, right?” Jessie stated mimicking what Alex said earlier. They shared a laugh and then fell into silence again.

Jessie sighed. “I’m Jessie. I graduated just 2 days ago from college.”

“Congratulations!”

“Thank you. I was a journalism student and I excel the most in literature. You could say that I almost have it all. Some even took my right of feeling sad just because I am a successful person at such a young age. I wrote numerous poems and novels that made my university campus famous in the field of literature. I’m the ace of our org as my colleagues would like to say.”

Alex smirked. “You really do sound like a narcissist to me right now.”

Jessie chuckled. “It’s a fact.”

“Is that what woke the monsters in your head?”

“What?”

“The pressure of being the ace of your org.”

“You know what, Alex? I actually love me best when I write.”

“But your feelings changed when the thing you love to do became the thing that you must do perfectly?”

“It’s hard, Alex. To have so much eyes critic your work. To have so many people say that you must do this for the sake of your university’s name. At first it was fun. I really had so much fun writing for the benefit of my university but it really is true that people’s abilities have limits too. There was this one time actually when I messed up one competition. My mentor got really disappointed with me. She said so many hurtful things that made me into the perfectionist that I am right now when it comes to my work. After that mistake, I became really insecure. I overworked myself. I set a really high standard for myself and…” She took a deep breath. “I guess I’m the one who pressured myself after all.”

Alex didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say—no. He didn’t want to say anything.

Jessie smiled. “How do you cope up with your episodes?”

“I’ve been dealing with them for years now and you can almost say that I’m dead inside. I’m immune.” He smiled showing his almost perfect set of teeth.

“I envy you.”

“Why? Because I’m immune?”

“No. Because you seem stronger and in control of your own monsters.”

Alex laughed and stared at Jessie. “You see, Jessie, we can’t really control our ‘own monsters’. I just learned how to deal with it. Yes, it’s hard especially from the start but to be honest with you, even I don’t know how I managed to ignore them. And not to mention, there are still days when I sit in my dark room crying myself to sleep. Suicidal thoughts occur too.”

“Suicidal thoughts, huh.”

“You ever tried doing it sometimes?”

“Never did but always had.”

They both laughed at the absurdity of their subject.

The two then decided to continue their conversation over drinks they bought at the nearest convenience store. They talked and talked and talked until dawn.

“JESSIE!” Jamie screamed.

“Jamie… how did you find me?” Jessie asked looking confused.

“My cousin works near here and she saw you at the convenience store. We’ve been looking for you! Do you know how worried everyone is?” The org president said frantically. “You’re being scouted by a famous documentary show in GNA and your interview is tomorrow so let’s go back to Manila. You should rest for better results, Jessie. This is such a huge deal and you shouldn’t miss it.” Jamie led their way into the car but Jessie stopped midway.

Alex sighed. “So this is why she ran away.” He thought.

“Jamie. I’m with someone. I can’t just leave like that.” She said loudly walking back towards Alex while still facing the org’s president.

“Who?” Jamie asked in confusion.

Jessie ignored Jamie.

“It was fun talking to you, Alex.” Jessie smiled. “Thank you.”

“Are you going back to Manila?”

“I have to. There are so many opportunities laid in front of me even before I graduate. It’d be a waste to throw them all into the drain.”

“I’ll see you when I see you, then. Goodbye, Jessie.”

Jessie waved her hands as she walk back into her car. “Jamie, I brought my car. I’m driving back to Manila on my own. Just send me the information regarding the interview.”

“O-okay.” Jamie agreed and she was left standing beside her car’s open door, dumbfounded.

--

“The journalist who will be receiving The Best Documentary, The Most Well-Written Book, and Journalist of the Year awards, is… Jessie Lou! Please give her a round of applause!” The MC exclaimed.

Jessie walked her way onto the stage together with Jamie and her mentor and started her speech. “First of all, I would like to thank Sylvia Plath, an author I truly admire, for inspiring me and making me want to write. My family who has been all out supportive all throughout my career. My colleagues, my org-mates, my mentor, and especially Alex.” Jamie started sweating rapidly by the mention of the last name.

“Oh? Alex? Who could this lucky person be?” The MC asked which had the crowd teasingly cheer for the author.

Jessie just giggled and said, “Alex wherever you are, thank you for the conversation we had. It was a breath of fresh air that I desperately needed at that time. Thank you every one. I will continue to work harder, provide you better documentaries, and release better books in the nearest future. I will continue to strive hard. Thank you.”

Thus, Alex became the ‘Mysterious Alex” the netizens keep talking about.

It was a night that Jessie has dreamt of ever since she started writing. It was remarkable. A memory she would never want to erase. After that night, Jessie went back to Antipolo. To the place where she met Alex. She has no intentions or thoughts of meeting with him at all. She just wanted to look at the place where the two of them spent the whole night talking and consoling each other.

“Where did you go? There’s a little org meeting in the café at 8pm tonight. The alumna are coming so please make sure to come. Freshies want to meet you.” Jamie said through a voice message she sent via Messenger.

--

“Iced Americano, please. Large.” Jessie ordered. The org meeting just finished and instead of going home, she decided to stay for a little bit. The coffee shop’s open for 24 hours anyways.

Jessie decided to sit near the glass window of the coffee shop. There aren’t many people at the location since it’s almost 1 AM. She took out her phone to check her social media accounts but the man outside caught her attention. It was Alex. He’s looking straight into Jessie’s eyes with a huge smile on his face. She gestured her to come inside the coffee shop and so he did.

“It’s been a while, Alex.”

“Indeed it has. I watched the awards show on TV. You did well. Congratulations on your achievements, Jessie.”

“Thank you. Aren’t you going to order anything? My treat.”

“Nah I’m good. I don’t really like coffee that much.”

Jessie nodded and took a sip of her coffee. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been good. When we first met, didn’t I tell you that I was there for a client meeting?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, apparently, things went well and I have now started my own business called Beyond the Scene Films. I can finally earn a lot of money through my profession.” Alex smiled.

“Things went well, huh. I’m really happy for you…” Jessie smiled sincerely.

It’s been weeks since the two started meeting each other again from time to time. They would just hang out and talk about current events over drinks that they bought from the convenience store and just sit on Jessie’s car trunk to let the time pass by. They’ve gotten really close and more open about each other’s struggles. The two became each other’s shoulder to lean on.

“I’ll be going abroad the day after tomorrow. It’s a one-way ticket and I honestly have no idea how long we’ll be there for our current documentary. We won’t be seeing each other for a while, my friend.” Jessie said in the tone of disappointment.

“It’s alright. We can just hang out again when you get back.” Alex said with assurance.

--

“May I have everyone’s attention please?” Director Rodriguez said loudly.

They were in a team dinner. The documentary that they worked so hard for that took them 3 months was finally done and is being prepared to be aired.

“It has been a rocky 3 months of travelling, interviewing, culture-studying, filming, writing, and working with you guys. Today marks the end of this beautiful and meaningful documentary so I want you all to pat yourselves on your backs and tell yourselves that you’ve worked hard. Thank you everyone for the hard work.” The whole team clapped and congratulated each other for the hard work and then proceeded eating their dinner.

It was a beautiful night with the moon shining so bright and the stars shimmering so gorgeously on the sky. The night was young and the drinks are just starting to roll by as Jessie’s phone got bombarded by text messages and consecutive phone calls from unknown numbers.

“WHAT?!” Susan, the intern, screamed out of nowhere while looking at her phone that caught everyone’s attention.

“Susan, what’s wrong?” Director Rodriguez worriedly asked.

“Check your social media accounts. News outlets are proving that the theory behind ‘Mysterious Alex’ being a pigment of Jessie’s imagination is true. There are also photos included which shows her laughing alone.” Explained calmly by the intern.

Everyone took out their smartphones to check the said article and the room started to be filled with murmurs and disturbing whispers. Jessie just stood there looking confused.

--

“So you’re telling me that I’m a crazy person? I’m not crazy, Jamie. There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m completely fine!” Jessie cried out loud.

“I’m sorry, Jessie. I’m sorry.” Jamie walked closer to Jessie and held her hands. “Let’s consult a psychiatrist oh, shall we?”

“Why would I? I just told you. There’s nothing wrong with me. Alex is real so y’all need to stop blabbering about how he’s not. I swear I just talked to him a while ago!”

“No, Jessie, no. We need to see the doctor and you need to calm down. Okay?”

“Jamie, you need to believe me! I swear to every God out there that Alex is real so stop telling me he’s not. You saw him in Antipolo, right? When you went to find me? After graduation, right?” The author cried.

“I didn’t. You weren’t with anyone back then! You were alone at that time, Jessie! There’s no Alex nor any signs of anyone around when I found you!” Jamie said convincingly.

Jessie stopped, trying to process what the org president—no… what her friend told her. “He’s real, Jamie. Do you want me to show you our conversation? Wait.” She said calmly and gestured for her friend to stay still. “Wait for me. I’ll get my phone.”

Jessie hurriedly went back to where Jamie was and showed her phone as she vigorously scrolled through her messages to find her and Alex’ conversation. “It was just here… maybe I unknowingly deleted it? Wait. Let’s look at my contacts list. I’ll show you his phone number, okay?” She scrolled through her phone again and found nothing.

The author stopped and fell to the ground knee-first. She was left in disbelief and continuously murmured, “No… no… no… Alex is real.” Until Jamie knelt down in front of her with a phone in her hand. “Look at this, Jessie. These are the photos taken by the paparazzi when you were apparently with Alex.” The photos show only her. A woman laughing and talking alone.

Jessie started laughing in disbelief. “This is all just a joke, right? That’s photo-shopped. That’s definitely edited. You know how advanced technology is, right?”

Jamie just sighed and the sound of the ambulance’s sirens became louder and louder as it gets near. Jessie quickly ran out of the room as she realizes that she will be taken away. “I’ll find Alex. I’ll show you all that he’s real.” She said repeatedly as she ran.

The nurses caught her and gave her a sedative injection to calm her down.

The author that was respected and honored by a lot of people became a living corpse in her room filled with solitary. In an asylum. “I’ll find Alex. I’ll show you—.”

“Jessie.” A voice from the dark corner of the room said. “Jessie, my friend, I’m here. I’ve always been here.”

“Alex is that you” mumbled Jessie who is still confused with the things that happened.

“Yes Jessie, it’s me, Alex … Your friend.”

To be continued.