for secrecy

All was well until he took my heart. Slowly, strongly, deeply. Then I knew I'd never look at him the way I did when he still meant nothing to me. I knew things would change. I'd start noticing all his glances to the other girls. I'd start noticing how ignorant he is of my presence. I'd start to hope he'd treat me nice and better. I'd start to imagine what it would feel like to share life with him in the future. I'd start hurting myself with those little expectations. And I'd start to hate myself for secretly hoping for a guy my friend dearly loves.

-af