It took him forever to leave.
Well, physically, he did a long time ago.
But his memories, his smile, all the butterflies he gave, lingered on. They haunted me, they occupied every fiber of my heart and though my mind made them go away, my stupid heart relented.
It held on, to every hope, waiting for the time that he'll come around. Waiting for him to come back, make up his mind and take a chance with me again.
And people told me I'm stupid, that I'm holding on to nothing, that someday, I'll regret all of this waiting.
But how can I give up on this uncertainty when it's everything that I have ever wanted?
How can I give up on someone, when he's the best thing that has ever happened to me?
For years, I have let myself believe, that someday, we'll find love in each other's eyes again.
But as the years passed, as I finally understand the whys, as every what if was answered, as every hope extinguished with a spray of reality, bit by bit, I can feel him leave.
Time would heal all wounds, because over time, questions will be answered and reality will be shown in a new light, in a way I never saw before because I was too blinded with the hope of us, with the hope of a second chance, that I never entertained the possibility that there would never be another chance, that the chapter with him has already ended, that we are over.
I can feel my hand let go. The rope have been straining my hand, and I've got slashes on my wrist, letting go, just one finger at a time.
It was many years later when the realization dawned on me.
"It's over," my relentless, ever-hopeful heart finally whispered.
Maybe this is how moving on happens. John Green said falling inlove is same as falling asleep, slowly, then all at once. But now I learned it's also the same on how you move on,
Bit by bit, slowly, and then, all at once.
And this love and meeting him taught me that maybe soulmates don't always stay forever together, maybe in unlucky instances like mine, soulmates would just be forever, a memory.