FROM AFAR WITH LOVE

From across the room, I found myself staring at you.

Is it your eyes, or your lips? lost in space, I wondered.

Moments passed and you caught me watching, then, after a second, you flashed that smile of yours.

Butterflies.

God, I thought to myself, nodding shyly in response the way I always do. My face felt so hot and so weird I can't even smile back. Why does she have to do that every time?

With a little wave of your hand, you turned away and went on to continue listening to our teacher, writing notes ever so elegantly. I guess you'll never know how your small gesture made me forget what chapter we're on.

I looked away, through the window where the trees and the birds and the skies are the most serene things in the world, and calmed my suddenly-jumbled thoughts.

I don't know why, but I felt my heart's sadness.

I reached for my pocket and it's still there - the one thing I've been trying to give you for years now. I carry it with me everyday, you see, hoping that one day it can replace what you're wearing.

'Will I ever be content with this?' I asked myself for a thousandth time, and for the answer I looked at you again.

I don't know how you do it, but you seem to know when my eyes search for yours. If only stealing glances is illegal, I'm sure I'll never see the sun again, the way you always catch me.

It's a shame, though, that you didn't catch me when I fell.

Again, you smiled that beautiful smile of yours, and this time it reached your brown eyes. You stuck your tongue out the way you always did when we first met, and I swear I could hear you giggle on your five-year-old voice. It made a part of me happy.

I felt the box on my pocket again.

Butterflies.

Will you ever see what's inside? I guess I'll never know.

Giving up on my thoughts, my heart seemed to whisper again. Will I ever be content with this?

I stole another glance at you and found the answer.

For that smile, yes, I will be.