Dear guy,
You are such a nice person. It wasn't very long since we've started knowing eachother but I could already tell. I am such a very observant person and that's what I've been doing the whole time. I've been watching you and I'm impressed how nice you are. I find it nice everytime you chat me first every morning. Telling me to sleepwell at night. Asking me if I have eaten already, how my day went and if I am okay. Those little things are the sweetest. I appreciate all that even though I was giving you nonsense answers for all your caring questions. And the idea that you would still understand me despite all those nonesense. You're so patient telling me that you'll wait no matter what. You're so caring for always checking on me and making sure I'm okay. And the sweetest for telling me you miss me already. I know I act stupid after getting an 'i miss you' from you. And I kinda felt a regret for acting that way. I hope you'd still understand why i was like that. I was never used recieving all those sweet little things. I always have a feeling that I was okay being alone. It felt like I don't deserve all those nice things. I don't know why it felt this way. I'm hard to understand, right? I'm sorry for this. I was just so complicated to the point that even I couldn't even understand me.
We've come so far tho. You met my friends. Talk to them. Remember when they keep giving you warnings? It still amuses me. You even know my sister whom I trust so much in most things. You were an ideal boyfriend thingy. And it's not hard to love you.
I'm just a dumbo for making you stop. It's weird cause I was thinking it won't work. I know I told you we had an unequal feelings. And our situation is unfair for you. I feel bad cause you don't deserve the way I was treating you. You deserve better. You should know that.
"It's not you. It's me." That line is such a clichè but it's like that. Nothing's wrong with you. You are perfect. The thing is... i'm a coward. I'm so scared to take risk. I have high walls. I'm scared to get hurt, to be betrayed. I don't know how to trust. Like what I've mentioned before, I'm complicated. I'm hard to love and I have endless issues. You don't deserve me. That's what it is.
I wasn't able to tell you this straight cause it's just too dramatic. I'm too dramatic. And I know my statements are childish.
I just want you to be happy tho. I'm sorry for disappointing you. You'll be fine. And that's the only thing I'm sure about.
-The Coward