! g!ve up..

What if today, I say that I give up. What if i never turned back. What if I was to die this very instant, ill be a History, you'll be Present and your Love will be Future where as mine will be Past. Maybe, I give up on trying, trying for someone, whom I embraced more than anything, for who I spent the most of the time thinking about, who taught me a lot, who was or is a beautiful soul. And a filthy weakling like me doesn't deserves that good. Well I tried my part, I'm weak, I know, that's why I give up.

you know its said, 'we cannot save someone from the decisions they made, we can only love them'.

Well I was and am scared by the fact that I'm on the verge to lose someone, but how can I lose certain someone, who is not even MINE.

''Stay away from people from people who make you feel like you're hard to LOVE'', credit Unknown.

I tried, to show affection but she wasn't there to take any, show my feelings but she wasn't there to feel any, I confessed and gave my Time . Well that's what was in my power and that's all one can do. Because the only gifts you can give to someone that others cant give is Love, Attention and Time.

I'm half or incomplete, on the search for my better half ,where I gave my full, I gave all what I had,  just for little time of her day. I came this far with an intention as pure as Sunshine, but I'm weak, yet again maybe I want to continue, I want to fight for her and never give up but how much more, when you fight for someone, your own demons become backstabbers, I'm bleeding but she cannot see, because I'm hiding my wounds, I may die trying and trying that's why I want to give up, I'm tired of the games and false hope, I don't want to fight for the future, all I want is to live in present, I want to love you in present. Its love, yes I'm in LOVE, in love with an imaginary person, you can call it an illusion, a deception, an enigma, a specter or a fantasy. But ill call it my imaginary person, the one who lives, who breathes and yet loves me the same as I do, all of this is in my imagination, a person who I search for in every being I encounter. The person who never existed, can't be felt, cant be seen, yet I fell for her.

That's why I give up.. I give up to search for the one who is non-existent.. who was never alive.. i give up not to quit, but to live.. and be present.. but neither past nor future..

I give up to let go.. I give up to breathe again.. I give up to love again..