There is a sadness so deep inside of me,
You could look closely but you won't be able to see,
I have practiced for years,just like an enlightened hermit,
I won't let you see my soul,no,I do not permit,
I will laugh with you hard, even if tears are on the brink,
My eyes can deceive you too, in ways you cannot think.
I have seen how it feels to be really really happy,
I may have felt it too, but it always ended shortly,
I was taken up to a cloud,so heavenly, so high,
Then kicked down with full force,such hell, such a lie,
Somehow I feel I am meant to be melancholy,
Somehow I feel complete only when I am lonely.
Where did I go so horribly wrong?
Stuck in a loop forever, singing the same sickly song.
What comes naturally to others, I need to beg or steal,
A moment of joy is all I ever wanted to feel.
There is never a knock, it just comes and goes,
Whenever it pleases, it keeps my heart on it's toes,
Once it takes hold there is no going back,
I wind up in a state where everything seems just black,
I do not want to wear my heart on my sleeves,
But this heart is its own master, and I have lost its keys.
It doesn't matter if it's day or night,
My friend follows me around like it's its birthright,
It's not at all a stranger, it's like a guest that never wants to go,
It's my oldest friend Darkness, in case you want to know.
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