Hidden feelings

my love my frds who were very close to me even my best frd..at some point of tym they left me altogether without knowingly..Nd I was alone sad depressed..Nd dat sadness dat depression made me strong..it made me brave..i started hating people..habituated to b alone..even if someone want to b close wid me..I don't want them to b wid me..I was like a rocky statue..except my parents everyone were deleted from my lyf..but not from my mind..but I acted so well that no one could notice.. everyone were pretty bsy wid their lyfs Nd thought I was bsy..Nd this was ridiculous..i was struggling here..Nd changed my self to b alright to handle all those situations.. suddenly a person entered my life..who changed everything..Nd made me human again..he came into my life like a candle in darkness..Nd I'm back..now i am loving being myself..Nd dat was only because of him..all thanks nd lots of luv to him..we started loving eachothers company..Nd he became soo close to my heart..he behaves like I'm the one whom he wants most..he ignores the entire world just for being wid me..he even says I'm his everything now..but Wen it comes to me..m scared of new relationships Nd frdships..but hez soo close to me dat I don't even want to ignore him.. because I don't want to see him wid pain..Wen hez away from me Nd not online for long time I feel soo tensed Nd worried about him..no hez not my boy frd or best frd..den whoz is he for me..??these r my hidden feelings hidden words I didn't ever told him..Nd never will b able to tell him..Nd I don't want to tell him Nd create a new confusion in his mind.. because now we r like if he hurt I hurt..if he cry I cry..if he worried I'll b worried if hez happy m also happy..so I don't want to spoil his happiness..so dat I cannot spoil my happiness..as of now his happiness is my happiness..m a bit selfish ri8?? Yess..I'm..😊😊