Hidden thoughts

Like other girl i also have some dream, i also like suprises,i also expect to be treated special. But no, everytime i have to play the role of boyfriend. I want to be treated as girl not boy. Yes this what happen with me all the time. Sometime he is the fault sometime my luck. The story also begin like this. I have taken new admission in college, many boy proposed me. But i dont like any of them. Because i want something special in them or their propose style. But i dont get. Then after many days i saw a boy who really stole my heart. Every time i saw him i just stare at him. And sometime i dreams about him. Then one day I tried to spoke with him. We gossip for hours. Then one day i told my feelings ti him that i love him. But i didnt want this. I want to be proposed by him romantically. Till by pusing my dreams back i came to present situation and tried to confort myself by thinking that no like everytime i have to behave like a boyfriend not girlfriend forget about your dreams and focus on sacrificing to keep your relationship. By thinking this i proposed him. But the most disappointed thing is that he keep me in waiting list. Seriously i feel worst that day. I never expect this type of reaction. I am a girl and everyone treated me as a boy. My father always tells me i am his boy, my friends used to call me 'bro', and in relationship status I am his boyfriend and he is my girlfriend but the problem is that i have to carry both the disadvantages of girls as well as boys. Girls and boys both have disadvantage and advantages. But I only deserve to face the problems of both. Like 'you r like my boy so try to act like my boy study hard, work hard, no rest ' and in case of girl 'dont forget you are a girl so dont go for trips with your friends, dont wear stylish dress, dont go for parties,dont smoke,dont drinks'. But i have managed myself. And wait for him. And One day he accept my proposal. And then we became a lovely couple but for other not for me. Because i am not his gf. Like other i also want a gift or surprise from him on my birthday. But dissapoinment is he even didnt gift me a rose. Yes this my worst birhday. Sometime i just want to depend on him but he is not capable of afford me physically,mentally,
economically. One day i became ill he was there to take care of me but for 1 day he even cant play the role of girlfriend properly. Because from next day he get fever. And because of his fault only. Like this days passed away and now i am totally tired of answering my mom questions about him which was all lie, i am tired of taking care of him loving him because i want to be loved i want to feel special now, i am tired of treated as boy i want to treated as girl. Whole world is shellfish they only think of profit.  I am tired of sacrificing. I am that much unlucky.