HIM

Have you ever felt that you are drowning... drowning in a deep dark ocean ? It gradually turns into a swirling whirlpool, making you struggle to get grip, making you out of control, making you feel that this is it, this is the end, you cannot do it anymore, you are drowning deeper and deeper into the ocean...it doesn't matter anymore if you know how to swim or not ! And then, just at the moment when you think of letting go, when you think of giving it all up and let the dark ocean engulf you completely, you suddenly find a strong hand grasping your arm and pulling you up.. putting all the efforts to bring you up to the surface, to make you see the light again..

And when this person brings you back up, you look at him..into his eyes, and you find peace. You feel calm and at complete bliss. You keep your hand on his chest and the beating of his heart gives you warmth, taking all the chill of the water away. You are lying there on his arms ..all vulnerable, clueless about how to breathe again..when he kisses you on your forehead and says, "Don't worry, I am always here for you !"

You believe him. You close your eyes, smile, and lose yourself at that very moment, right in his arms. You have stayed strong for a long time..but now it's time to cut loose and just let him take control..let him guide you. You feel the light of the sun again, you hear the birds chirping, you look around to see the greenery, even when you look at the ocean just beneath you, you can see that it has lost it's darkness and has turned into calm blue water. You just want to stay there..forever...in his arms. It feels so protected, so safe from the black deep ocean, so warm, so serene. You just let your hair fall down, let the cool breeze mess with the strands, you are no more shy about your body lying completely naked in his arms, you know you trust him, you know his touch makes you feel all the more alive. 

You open your eyes..you look at him. He looks a bit tensed..creases appear on his forehead..he looks disturbed. You struggle to understand what is wrong ? What is it that is bothering him ? His arms tighten, he clenches his jaws. What is it? Why is he not telling you anything ? Where has all the calmness gone ? You brush your fingers over his bare chest, only to find it shivering with pain. And just when you try to understand what is causing him so much pain, his grip on your body loosens..

You find yourself splashed into the water again and drowning... You struggle hard to not let go, you stretch your arms to hold him, but you fail...you keep sinking deep in the ocean with the water turning darker and darker. You feel helpless, torn..why did he let go ? Why was he in so much pain ?

Maybe he loved you completely for who you are, he cared for you and fell for you...but maybe he couldn't bear the burden of the darkness that you brought along with yourself from the ocean...maybe it was too much for him to live with. Maybe he tried to make you stay with all the strength he had..but then realised that it's best to let go. It's best to let go !!