"I've been wishing for long to tell you this but a part of me held me back every time; a part of me feared rejection, a part of me was afraid to lose you."
She tore off the page again and dumped it in the bin. By now there were a pile of such torn pages. She held her forehead and talked to herself,
"What is wrong with me today? I'm a literature student.. I've written so many love stories and I can't write a simple love confession letter? This is so frustrating! "
In a fit of disgust she threw away her pen and paper and put her head down on the table. Just then her phone vibrated and seeing his name flashing on the screen she leapt from her seat. Her heart started thumping and after fumbling for a moment she finally picked up the call. As normally as she could, she said,
"Hey!"
"Hey, listen I got to tell you something very important"
"Yea say.. I'm all ears"
"Not over the phone.. Meet me someday.. Tell me when you're free"
Her eyes turned big in astonishment!
"On Monday we've college. After that we can meet.. You better come to the college.. We'll have a chat there"
"No, not college.. Meet me in the nearby cafe.. I owe you a treat, remember?"
"Oh that one? OK fine.. Monday, then"
"Yea.. See you"
She hung up the call and danced like a mad gipsy..
The entire weekend was spent in an eager wait for Monday and mostly daydreaming about the meeting.. For the first time, a college goer was excited for Monday!
And finally the day arrived.. Needless to say she was nervous, practising a conversation she'd scripted for nearly a hundred times. Never had she properly dresses for going to college, but that day was different.. She picked her best pair of jeans, her best top, her best pair of earrings and dressed in such a way that it made her mother raise an eyebrow.. But more than her dress, what complimented her the most was her smile, the joy in her face, the shine in her eyes.. Lectures seemed boring and never ending to her. To the girl whose life revolves around literature, Spenser and Shelley seemed totally uninteresting! The reason was clear.
After the class, she hurried as if she was to catch a train.. She went to the washroom and with the puff dabbed the powder on her face.. Once she was satisfied with her look, she rushed down the stairs and then realising the overflow of energy, tried to calm herself.. She was astonished to see him standing outside the college.. Seeing her he gave a friendly smile and waved his hand.
"We were supposed to meet in the cafe, right? So why are you here?" she asked as her eyes fell on his bike. The idea of a bike ride made her pulse go a notch higher.
"I had to cross the college anyways, so thought of picking you up." he said and her lips curved into a smile as her cheeks grew redder.
She took her seat behind him and he handed her the helmet. A little awkward she felt on holding him so she held on to the back handle.. In the cafe, they chose a corner double chaired table.. He handed the menu card to her,
"All yours today madam", saying this he winked. She replied with a smile.
She placed the order and he stared at her in amazement. After she was done he exclaimed,
"Hey you ordered all my favourites!"
"I know.. they're my favourites too"
"So we have quite a few similarities.. Interesting!"
"" Well, I guess we discussed about them earlier.. coming back to our purpose of meeting, I believe you didn't call me here to discuss similarities "
"Oh no, of course not.. I've something very important to tell you.. Just that I don't know how to put it!"
"Come on.. You don't have to think while talking to me..Say it in a go"
He breathed deep and drank some water.. Her heart thumped so much that she thought it'll burst.. Her lips curled into a smile as she anticipated his words.
"I love Shriya" he said in a breath as if snatching the smile from her face.. It came as a blow that shook her from within.. She looked at his eyes and realised she should change her expression.
"What! Really? That's wonderful.. I knew you two would make a great pair one day" she said as she recalled the endless moments she had pulled his leg taking her name, the numerous times she made him feel that Shriya likes him.. She felt like cursing herself!
"Yeah.. You were always right.. In fact I must thank you cz without you I probably would have been ignorant of my feelings.. And now I need your help in confessing to her.. Would you help me? "
"Of course I'll.. Do you need to ask? I'm always there at your service Sir" she laughed aand he joined..
They had their food and talked about Shriya all the time; her favourite food, her favourite colour, her choice of dress; he wanted to know all.. And all the time, a forced smile lit up her face and concealed her broken feelings; shattered expectations.. She behaved normally like nothing happened, but inside she knew she was falling apart..
After they were done he dropped her to the nearby metro station.
"Should I drop you home?" he asked, as caring as ever.
"No I can manage myself.. Thanks.."
"OK.. Ring me up once you're home", saying this he waved adieu..
Back at home she looked at the mirror and reflected, "Today I realise why people say I'll make a great actress!" She forced a smile as a tear rolled down her cheeks...