we were kids. we didn't know shit, but still, something was bringing us together. he wasn't totally handsome or something, but he looked good and i did notice him above all the guys there were. we were dating for like a week, you know, pretty serious stuff for eleven-year-olds. i kissed him like twice on the cheek, you know. pretty serious it was, really. then He dumped Me. i wasn't exactly completely destroyed and sad. to be honest, i don't remember a single thing. i don't remember the kiss and neither the breakup. okay.. that was it. we went on as nothing happened because to be honest, nothing really happened.
second try
i feel like i was telling this a billion times, but the truth is, i never said it out loud. it happened after a year. our class was on a ski lesson and we kind of started to talk more and we started to play this game, okay. it's the thing, that you do this circle with your fingers and if the other one looks at it, you may punch him in the shoulder. we changed the rules a bit and when i looked at his fingers, i had to kiss him and when he looked at time, i could slap him in the face, you know, i didn't hit him once. although, we were kissing along the whole ski lesson. once he was blackmailing me. he took my pillow and said that he won't give it back 'til i kiss him, he meant french kiss. i didn't want to, i was scared, it would be my first. i didn't know how, but he didn't either. then we kissed of course. it was terribly embarrasing, it lasted for like one second and i think i thrust my tongue into his throat. well, whatever. then we went home and i didn't really have feelings for him and i acted as such a bitch, i was really mean, you know. i was the worst person the earth ever had. i'm still really sorry. i would take it back, everything. i broke up with him over a text. jesus. i'd kill myself, oh my god. i was such a bad person.. i'm really really sorry, i realize i was the worst, i didn't deserve then.. now? who knows. i hope i do.