How Love Works

I have never really fallen in love to the point that my heart ached for it, my eyes swelled with tears, and my mind grew weary of it. I have never really fallen out of love as well to the point that I'd feel nothing—no guilt whatsoever, laugh like I didn't make someone cry, and look at them like we had nothing.

Love is nothing but something that I've watched from movies and wrote poems about. Love is nothing but an idea that existed in my head with no one to share it with because the idea of someone, existed in my head as well. Love is....something I thought I knew.

But I never did. I never had the chance to. All I know is pushing everyone back because of the inevitable fear that once they get tired, love is nothing but a story of yesterday and a memory for tomorrow.

I'm afraid with all the shit I have to give to anyone. Because I thought I knew how it worked. In the end, it was all but a broken idea that my poems are made of and who's inspiration behind it was my childhood crushes.

If you think about it, it's funny 'cause it's true. But it's kind'a sad as well. The love I know is the memes my friends share with me, the hugs my parents and I share, and all those tiny cruhes on boys and men.

But, to be honest, I don't think we'll ever know how love works. It's a complicated puzzle none has solved yet. An intricate model that requires flexibility, space, and balance. It's the smell of home cooking that lingers in your open condo window on the 25th floor at 10 pm along with the city lights and the noisy cars with no certain point of origin. There's just not enough words to describe it.

But, in the mean time, the poems shall stay poems, and we'll be children, learning and learning, for as long as the world would allow us to be, filled with wonder lust on how love truly works.