I Am the Pain I Wanted

Whenever I am in my normal range of emptiness, someone just sprouts out of nowhere.

And I am sure I cannot reciprocate the emotions he wants me to fill him.

"Am I cold?"

"Yes, I am cold."

And maybe the reason, the reason why I lived with pain. Pain makes me feel alive.

I could feel life. Whenever I feel these deep murky emotions. I feel like it's worth it!

Difficulties, challenges, and war I could divulge in them just to feel the tingling sensation of warmth and hatred. To slap the dead in me, to pour something in my abysmal pit...

Pain makes me rhythmic.

Questions kept on coming, too many for someone to care.

Anxiety, yest it is.

"Am I insane?"

"I don't know."

I dont really need an answer, as you can see. I already have 'em. I just want you to hear me.

That's why, if you plan to love me, if you care for me. Im telling you that you're risking your stability.

.. .

I am the pain that I want.

I am the rushed decisions I chose.

I am free and no one has ever owned me.

Ever.