I almost never see my mom in dreams..i barely remember how she looked although i was 17 when she was gone..she was all what I can call family.. I think it's the shock that blocked away her memory..but during some previous night I had a dream..a vivid dream..that felt almost as true as typing this story now.. I wish i didn't get up..i was as always angry with my dad at our old house..at home..some place I hold dear and lost on the same occasion too.. I came to her complaining that my dad was late and careless as usual..and she told me not to be upset..my dad was closer to the house now but he stoped by the first floor to have a sandwich with my grandpa.. I cried to her saying..see he is that careless..oh my God mom..who is he eating with..grandpa is not here anymore..he is gone..i cried so hard..harder than ever..i looked at a picture of me..telling her I have been through souch mom..can u see..i have been divorced..lonely..and scared.. I am tired..see..
She hugged me so hard telling me everything is gonna be ok.. that's when it hit me..i miss ur hug so so much..and oh my..u too are not here mom..u too are gone..please don't leave..not again.. don't leave
I have forgotten what her hug felt like..so i decided to hold.onto this dream..since i don't wanna lose this memory ever again
As painful as it as soothing as it can get to revisit..please don't go..at least the memory of u..please stay..
I cried my eyes out..and it feels like i have lost u all over again ..
It's just today..more than 10 years later that i can say i have missed u mom..so so much