I have loved you. I did. And I still do.

Dear no one,

I have loved you. I did. And I still do.

I don't know when, where, or how it all started but I did and I still do. It came to me like crashing waves, destroying the barriers I made with the sand. It gave me a glimpse of how it is to get drowned into a plethora of foreign emotions; or how it is to breathe under the ocean of whirling thoughts. I have always been afraid of the ocean but this time, I wasn't. 

Love is too much for a word but whenever I get to see a glimpse of your face from afar, the word became an abstract painting that made sense. It made sense to me but I don't have the courage to tell you so or even utter the word in whisper so that the wind may take it to you because I know you also love someone else and I don't want to appear like a beggar begging for a piece of your heart. 

There was a time I tried to let this feelings evaporate into thin air but the moment I saw you flaunting that damn smile, the feelings I had evaporated became a condensate like a dark cloud letting go of all the rain it can shed. I can't seem to escape the spell you casted on me. 

When will this stop? That I don't know. I am still waiting and it hurts every time you pushed me to meet new people. I did what you told me and I am still doing it. I've met a few but nobody compares to you. Maybe in a matter of time, love will prove with certainty... that you and I don't and wouldn't exist. 

One day, I will find the courage to tell you so. And when that day comes, please do know that I am telling you not because I want you to love me too but I want you to know that somewhere out there, someone is thinking of you, that someone cares and that you are not alone. 

I have always been afraid of the ocean. But this time, I wasn't. This time, I will be swimming on my own. I will find a way to resurface. I will.

Love,

Ming

PS. I hope he loves you too. Stay healthy.