I Saw You First

I saw you first. You entered the club with a show of ease, laughing at something your friend had said and glancing idly round the room as the crowded masses jumped in crazed union to the steady thump of the bass beat. Your friend was just behind you and you tilted your head and screamed “What?” as her hoarse voice competed desperately with the pounding music. Before long you gave up trying to understand her and simply offered a neutral nod and a smile before you scanned the room again and pulled your friend over to the bar once you’d spotted it. A picture of confidence, no one would guess you were anything but completely at ease in the club. Having the time of your life. I knew better. I averted my gaze as you glanced up yet again to cheerily watch the crowd but not before I saw the alertness in your eyes, in your relaxed but taut posture, ready to pounce at moment’s notice. Ready to flee. I circled round the side of the room so that your back was towards me. You hadn’t seen me yet, or if you had you hadn’t visibly reacted, it was difficult to tell with you but I assumed the best. I wasn’t worried. A cute young man with floppy hair and freckles bought you a drink. You politely declined – “I’m gluten intolerant” with a half-smile and an awkward laugh before turning to the bartender yourself and ordering a coke. Your friend entertained the young man with her flirtatious antics whilst you watched your drink like a hawk until it safely reached your hand. The young man insisted on paying; you’d expected nothing else, you hadn’t even removed your purse. Instead you stole another glance round the room, more visibly nervous than the last time I noted with satisfaction. You didn’t know whether or not I was here and the paranoia was getting to you. I smiled faintly. Usually this would be the time to pounce, but not with you, not when one hand was wrapped so carefully round a smashable glass and the tell-tale bulge in the sleeve of your jacket revealed your knife to me so close to the other. I knew you’d kept careful watch on the nearest exit. On all the exits just in case. One wrong move and I would lose so I didn’t pounce. No, this was a far more delicate operation. I watched you.

You engaged in light hearted small talk with the young man whilst your friend was swept away into the dancing masses by a charming lad named Derek. He’d keep an eye on her and I kept both eyes trained on you. The young man laughed at something you’d said and you leaned against the counter; at ease. You took a large sip of coke, tilting your head right back and swallowing half the glass. At ease. Then you placed the glass on the table, took his willing hand in yours with a wicked grin and plunged into the dance floor, losing yourself in the mindless swarm of bodies. And losing me. Clever kitten, clever. I dived in after you.

It didn’t take you long to realise you’d made a mistake. You were more alert and vigilant than ever in the pulsing, indiscernible mass, panicked even. I followed the scent of your fear, pushing through the sweaty bodies as you struggled to leave it, ducking under arms and squeezing through torsos. Skin brushed you everywhere, hands on your arms and back and neck. Skin up your sleeves and down your collar and behind your ear. Every hair on your body stood on end, flinching at every electrifying touch. Any one of them could have been me. You found your way out just as my fingers ran through your hair and trailed softly down the smooth curve of the back of your neck, leaving lines of searing heat on your skin where I’d almost had you.

You stumbled back to the counter and I slipped back into the corner, twirling your knife in my hand before sliding it harmlessly into my pocket just as you realised it was gone. I heard your swallow as you looked uncertainly back at the dance floor. You wouldn’t find me there. You sat for a moment, then stood up again, deciding to leave, when your friend suddenly emerged from the crowd and bounded up to you cackling and shouting something about a restroom. I watched you shake your head no and offer to hold her drink whilst she went. It was safer out here, in the open, after all. Suddenly you were thirsty again, so you turned to the bartender and ordered another coke. I laughed as you carefully watched him once again until the drink was safely in your hands. Then a drunken Derek collided with you and with both hands occupied you crashed into the counter. I heard your gasp of pain as the harsh edge jammed into your ribs and half of both the drinks you gripped spilt onto your hands. Derek spluttered out an embarrassed apology, pulling you upright, and brushing you off and in your shock you barely registered the fizzing in your glass. You stared dumbly as Derek repeated his profuse apologies for a couple of minutes, blocking out the throbbing in your side, before barking out that its OK and to please just leave you alone. I laughed at that.

Both of your heads jerked up as your friend called out to you, thanking you for holding her drink and taking it before disappearing with Derek back into the dance floor. You were alone again, and you sank down onto a stool with a groan. Hoping the jarring iciness would jolt you out of your shock induced haze you gulped down the remainder of your coke. Letting it pour down your throat. It was cool, I imagine, and refreshing. I waited a few minutes longer, watching as you slumped reluctantly in your chair, I circled round you again so I could see the confusion in your face. You jumped to your feet with a start, intent on doing something, but not entirely sure what. You could barely hold yourself upright as the world spun around you and you sank back into your seat. You blinked. I stood in front of you and smiled. You watched me for a moment, uncomprehending, tired. I held out my hand helpfully and you took it reflexively, your eyes drooping as I helped you to your feet. You slumped against me and I held you close. Then I picked you up and carried your sleeping form home. I had you now.