I Want To Let You Know That I Love You.

How would you want me to react to you? The pain that I gave you, the broken memories of you in my heart, the lanes that we passed through, everything has its  own manifestation. The air I breathe, the steps that I trudge, the sky that once provided the roof to our bare body, everything that I admire sends me the realization that you no longer exist beside me.

You're no longer beside me and everything seems imperfect. It's been a while since I touched your lips with mine and entwined my tongue with yours. How perfect you were. I wanted the world to stop for the moment your lips were over mine. And the delicacy of your hair, when a flock of it poured around your fragile eyes and you tucked those behind your ears again. It flickered innocence from your eyes.

And how should I react upon the feeling when we made love together. Upon the feeling when there was just you and me and the black sky upon us. You bared everything for me, for my love. And when my hands touched your chest to make you feel the taste of heaven, it shivered to allure your flesh. It shivered because it was on the bare skin of someone it didn't have any feelings for.

When it reached underneath your body, beneath and between your thighs, enrapturing you with its finesse of caressing your flesh, it felt clumsy and gawky for it didn't love you. It touched the flesh of someone who it never loved. It just wanted to seek the pleasure of the beautiful heavenly feeling of making love. I rolled upon you, and we were together, I could hear the sound of your breath, placid and sedate, you swooned every time the actions evoked pleasure. It was you and me, yet it was just you.

I saw the hope you had in your eyes for me, it showed how you desired me to love you forever and until the earth ends. But it was just you, I have been something really different. The air had your fragrance all around. I lay beside you, caressing your body and every time you breathed I demanded to hop into the trench of your breath and disappear just like the air. Because I was the culprit and I didn't want to anguish your hopes for me. You loved me, I love you.

How should I tell you that I didn't love you then, but now, I too love you.

© Ramesh Pathak