“This won't suit you”, my aunt told me when I picked a yellow dress from the rack for my brother’s wedding. Agreeing to her mom, Tania said, “You are right mom. God knows which colour will suit her.”
This was not the first time. They have been doing this since I can remember. Constant need to pull me down, embarrass me, and insult me at every wakeful second of my life. It wasn’t just them, there were many more people who were with them.
For what you ask?
Just because I had a DARK complexion.
I am Radha. A post graduate student from St. Xaviers college. The smartest in my batch and the head of student council.
Not only my academics are strong but I also take care of my household.
I have a big brother, a younger sister and one more small brother.
My mom is most of the times sick at home and being the elder SISTER, I have to carry out most of the house’s chores.
My brother is getting married in a month. All the work related to it which is my mom’s responsibility is carried out by me. My dad does the jobs like getting the mandap ready and booking the caterers, etc. But all the other things like getting all the shopping done for all the family members, buying all the gifts for my soon-to-be Bhabhi (Brother’s wife) etc etc are taken care of by me.
Tania is my dad’s elder brother’s daughter. Which basically means my first cousin. She is fair with long and straight brown hair. She is very beautiful. But she just passed her graduation by mere 12 marks. Now she stays at home doing absolutely nothing and waits to get a handsome man to get married to.
Tania along with my aunt and I have come for shopping to buy our wedding clothes. An hour has passed in the same shop. Whatever Tania wears is appreciated by her mom. Every time I pick up a dress to go try on, they point out too many flaws in me that wouldn't go with the dress. The “TOO MANY FLAWS” just meaning that I was not fair.
Finally I decided that I am not going to listen to them anymore and wear what I like. I wore all the dresses I had picked up before and there was a salesman who gave me an honest opinion about every dress. I finally settled on a royal blue anarkali dress with outline of red flowers. It looks good on me and even the honest salesman agreed.
Every woman wants to look beautiful. I mean who does not!
Even if she is not beautiful from birth, she still tries her best to present herself with grace and beauty.
When looking in the mirror, every female thinks that she is the most beautiful girl in the world.
After buying the dress, I bought all the matching accessories for it. Shoes, earrings, bracelet and much more. I was very happy that day because for the first time I had confidently shopped for my self. I even realised that having a dark complexion is not a bad thing. There are many options for people like me.
I was going to look very good in my brother’s wedding. My brother was among the very few people who never disrespect me because of my flaw. He has always been there for me and loves me a lot. He is my everything.
Days passed by preparing for the wedding. Finally the day was here. We all got dressed up, styled our hair and went to the venue.
While the ceremony was going on, I heard Tania and her mom, Niku aunty, talking. They got my attention when I heard my name. Something like, “Look at how ugly Radha is looking. We had told her not to buy that dress. But she didn't listen to us. She never does. She thinks that she is the most beautiful girl.”
I know that I am not at all good looking. No where compared to Tania. But everyone loves to feel beautiful. To dress up. To apply make up. To do everything they wanted to do without the constant reminder that they are not that good looking.
Everyday was more worse than the last. All the people around me, except a few, made snarky remarks about my appearance. They way you look is not in our hands. God only makes us the way we are. No one wants to look ugly. If my appearance were in my hands then why would i choose to be like this? People need to understand that and treat people like me with respect. Because we deal with a lot of rejection and we don't need to be reminded of them at every point in our lives.
I could bear everyone’s remarks till yesterday because I didn’t care much about them. But today was the worst. Someone I cared about and considered my own, hurt me.
“Get aside! What are you doing standing in front of the mirror? I have to get ready!” My Bhabhi said.
When she came to our house, I had thought that at least she wouldn't be cruel to me.
But I was shattered when I heard what she said next.
“What? She thinks she is beautiful? pft!! Not even the least bit!” She said this so slow that she thought I will not be able to hear it. But little did she know that my ears were as sharp as a humble moth.
I did what I always do when I am upset. I went and sat on the terrace.
That’s when he came up. On his own terrace in the opposite building.
The terraces were not that far apart. We could easily jump across. He lives in the opposite flat from ours. Many times I caught him staring at me. I always used to look away, but I had always liked his gaze on me. I don't know why, but for some reason his gaze was soothing and not at all creepy.
“That frown does not look good on you.” I was surprised that he was actually talking to me. And even by the whole idea that he could talk! I always thought that he only knew how to just stare. Crazy, I know, but I have always been waiting for this day. When he finally would talk to me.
“You don't look good with that sad face.” He said this a little louder, thinking that maybe
I didn't hear him the last time.
“I never look good. Frown or not.” I again continued with my sulking.
He immediately jumped over the wall and came on my terrace. I took a step back.
“I wish you could see through my eyes. You would have know how beautiful you are. Your smile? It just stops my whole world and all I can see are those lips. Your hair? How do they just fall perfectly without you even trying? You are the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on!”
I am pretty damn sure my eyes wee out of my sockets and my jaw was resting on the floor.
“I like you very much!” He said.
I just kept staring at him. Not knowing what to say. When the words really hit me, I felt warmth in my cheeks and felt a blush creeping up, the colour of a rose, on my complexion which was as dark as the moonless night sky. I had never ever imagined that I would hear someone say something like this for me.
I was not at all good looking. But for him, I was.
So yes, I was BEAUTIFUL indeed.