I will love you only in my heart

Hey, how are you? It's been a while since we last talked. How's your studies? How's life? Are you happy? Do you enjoy life's company without my presence? Did you ever miss me? Are you dating someone else right now? I'm sure you've already moved on, oops! I don't think you ever needed that one. You never loved me, right? You just thought you did.  

Well, even if you're not asking me, lemme just tell you how I have been doing after everything that happened. I'm okay, I am literally okay and happy. Of course at first I'm not. But at some point, I have managed to become happy again as how i used to be. I am physically happy, but emotionally torn honestly. I don't know how am I going to move forward, it was just so painful as if there's no trace of light from where I was going. I never thought you'd tell me that what you felt for me wasn't real. You told me you just thought you loved me. Was it my fault to believe in you, to everything you just said and showed me? where in fact I just loved you? I know you didn't ask for it, but still I did. Why? Because that's how love suppose to be. Love someone without any conditions, accept them, even the tiniest flaws you'd see. To think of love now, is so depressing. I locked myself from the room where we shared the warmth of each others heart. I felt the love when we we're together, but as what you have said, it was just a false belief we both fell for. I would definitely understand if you told me that there was someone that owns your heart in the first place, but to make me believe that I was the only one, you should've rejected my love instead. 

Until now, I am not yet over you. You own a big part of me that I can't give to anyone. People are telling me that I should forget you, cause you're a guy who have no balls to stand for what you have started. Funny isn't it? Sorry but I think they're right. Even if I love you, I'm not that numb not to notice that you never proved me anything about your feelings for me. You even told me once that you stopped writing about love poems after your last relationship, and I just smiled back but didn't you ever thought how would I felt about that? That was the time I doubted about your feelings for me, but because i love you I ignored it. Yes silly isn't it? But I don't want to lose you, for me she was just part of your past, but you proved me wrong. 

You might never felt the same way as I did. But I'm thankful that I had a chance to show you my love. Even if our story ended up so painful in my part, I'm still glad I shared with you my laughter. My tears were not wasted for you were the reason behind them. I may not bring back the past and make you love me. I might not have the chance again to share memories with you. So, I will just silently love you, only in my heart. 

P.S. I just opened this draft after a year and a half of writing this down, and I can say he's really with someone else now, and he had already achieved his license in his degree. I'm really glad that he was now starting to face his new journey. I just wish him a happy life. To you, thank you for the happiness we shared for a short time, and for the lessons I learned from loving you because now I can truly, and honestly say that I have really moved on, the pain doesn't hurt as much as it did before, I am happy with the love of the people around me, I don't think about you with hatred and pain, rather I even smile whenever I think of you. But one thing is I'm sure of, I can never unlove you, I will never forget you, and I will never forget the feelings I had for you, because you, You are my greatest love and I'm setting you now free.