We we're eating dinner when I felt the heaviness of the surrounding. It was a sad night. You'll only hear the sound of the spoon and fork clinking against the plate. It was silent, until Meskay spoke and broke the silence.
"Why does first love always.... fall apart? Why can't it be the last? Why can't it be the only?" She asked firmly, she was serious and she seemed broken and curious at the same time.
"Because most of first loves are just lessons. It teaches us how to love. Because when it's our first, we love too much, we give all what we got but it shouldn't be like that." I answered with a slight smile. Remembering how I asked the same question the first time I fell inlove, the first time I've got my heart broken.
"First love will teach you how to love at best, and how to love at worst. It will teach you how to love yourself, as you love someone else." I continued. Teary eyed. Breathing heavily because the deep conversation made me hard to breathe.
"If it's only a lesson, then why it's so hard to forget?" She asked as she looked at me crying. I saw pain and longing in her eyes. Like she was longing for something. She was longing for a love that will stay, and a love that will last.
But we shouldn't see love like a once upon a time or a dream come true neither a fantasy. This is reality and it's not always happily ever after. We should accept that it's not always like that.
"Some first loves aren't meant to be forgotten, because if you forget the love, you'll forget the lessons, you will forget what you've learned." I told her. Ending our sad and painful dinner talk as I walked out and wiped my tears away.