If We Loved Each Other Differently

I  didn't know that I will write a letter again after six years. I was not ready to collect my thoughts and compose a long parting letter again. I can't imagine the idea of writing this letter after many years of building our relationship and imagining our future together.

While writing this, I asked myself two questions.

First, what would happen if i loved you differently?

What would happen if I was gentle with you?
What would happen if I did not say harsh words?
What would happen if I accepted your explanations?
What would happen if I did not expect too much?
What would happen if I listen to you and let you express your thoughts and emotions?

Second, what would happen if you loved me differently?

What would happen if you just did what I said?
What would happen if you did not raise your tone and handled me with care?
What would happen if you consider my feelings with everything that you do?
What would happen if you make little efforts?
What would happen if you did not invalidate my feelings?

I was overwhelmed with all the questions in my head which I can't find the answers on. I was not ready to overthink this much. I was not ready to feel all of this.

Lastly, I was not ready...

to be in a dark place again and think what would have happened if we loved each other differently.