An Infatuation

A wise man once said that love is the hardest thing in life.

Well he had obviously never developed an infatuation.

Ah, infatuation, Satan's best friend.

Honestly, it's kind of like a yeast infection. It hits you from nowhere and by the time you realise you have it, it's already terrible. Just like a yeast infection.

Getting over it is also a lot like a yeast infection. You don't want to admit you have it because it's embarrassing, but only when you do and get some of that antifungal creme it leaves.

Some say it's not a real emotion. But it's as real as a yeast infection.

You know another way it's similar to a yeast infection? No one talks about it enough. 

I mean, every other story has the same old boy meets girl, boy falls in love with the girl, girl falls in love with the guy and *bam* happily ever after scenario. But no one talks about the girl sees guy from a distance, develops a ridiculous infatuation and wallows in self pity scenario.

I mean, as someone who has been victimized by the evil that is infatuation (and Justin Bieber, but I'll save that for some other time), all I can say is that it's probably the worst feeling you could possibly have. Again, just like a yeast infection. I don't even know how it happened. It seemed like one minute I was eating a sandwich, the next, I was wondering what holding his hand would feel like.

Since I can't disclose the guy's name for obvious reasons, let's call him John Doe.

Now, the thing is. I always knew John existed. He was my senior in school, he was always around. But I had never actually spoken to him. One horrible afternoon, I saw him. Actually saw him. And that children, is how I met your father.

I'm just kidding. 

I've never spoken to him in person.

I've imagined it in my head a thousand times though.

After that day, everything changed and I didn't even realise it. I spent most of my time stalking his profile rather than watching cat videos on YouTube. I did my research, just like one would do if infected with a yeast infection. I found out all his interests, favourite colour. Just the innocent kitten like stuff. Nothing stalker killer like, I can assure you.

I (thought I) knew everything about him. Until, I realised I actually knew nothing. 

It was 4am, I was up trying to study in the last minute for a test I had had in the morning when my phone beeped. Well, buzzed actually. Not that I remember the whole thing that well. 

There it was, a notification that said I had a message from John. I had imagined the  scenario in my head so many times, and there it was. In my mind, we were an hour away from our happily ever after.

I spent a few minutes wondering whether I had to go with 'hey' or 'hi' or 'greetings earthling'. After careful deliberation, I sent 'hey'.

After about eight minutes and thirty four seconds (not that I remember the details or anything), I realised the conversation was going nowhere. (I think I should've gone with 'greetings earthling').

As much as I hated it, I realised the John I was convinced I was in love with existed only within the walls of my head. Real life John, was not someone I had expected him to be. I mean, he used abbreviations while texting. I mean, it's fine when my friends use them, but when the guy I thought I loved used them, I began questioning the very concept of love.

About a week and a lot of pain later, I realised I had to accept that my duress was caused by the development of an infatuation. 

Once I realised and accepted it, I was already on my way to recovery. Much like those who embrace antifungal creme to sooth their yeast infections.

Now here I am months later, free of the infection that is infatuation.

Of course there is a part of me that wishes I didn't have to go through with this whole ordeal. But it was a learning experience. 

Infatuation sucks, just like a yeast infection. 

But it's easy to get rid of both.

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