It's All In The Eyes

People are full of various emotions, surprises, and of course, secrets. We are consisted of entities we don’t like others to see. There are being inside us that demand to be free. But we hide those, and I’m here to uncover only one. Want to know my secret? Then finish this story that will shed light to the complete mystery and enigma of my very soul.

Enclosed in my conscious body are unspeakable secrets that are waiting to unfold. But there is this certain secret that looms inside my perilous mind, and it haunts my whole being.

I am dead -- that’s my secret. My body systems are working perfectly fine but my soul is long gone. The happiness I feel faded away to nothingness together with the smile of hope and wonder. The excitement that lingers in each part of my figure is now masked with the numbing feeling of a cold corpse. The love that runs through my body is now replaced by a void of despair and melancholy. The breathing process I continuously do is like a broken music box that produces the same boring melodies -- how futile.

The only thing alive is my brain -- or is it? I’m not sure, due to the fact that my knowledge with things that pleasure me are slowly disappearing. It seems like my brain is unhurriedly creeping into an endless slumber. And I would gladly accompany the malignant state of my brain to snooze in an eternal sleep.

I once tried touching a boiling kettle out of curiosity. It resulted with a burn that will surely leave a mark on my hand, however, I didn’t feel the hot sensation, I just knew it was painful given that there was a visible blood oozing out of my once-soft palm. Blood? Oh, I remember. That is the thick liquid that appears whenever I try to feel pain in any parts of my body, especially in the wrists. But to no avail, there is no pain, only blood, lots and lots of crimson blood. It looks so alive I was almost convinced that I’m still alive, but I’m not.

From all the knife-like words people threw at me, the dagger-like glares people gave me, and the disgusted touch of people surrounding me, how can a person not die? But I still interact with them.

With my big smiles that radiate light to people in the dark… With my infectious giggles that will send anyone to a non-stop laughter… With my clumsy actions that fascinate the ones who look… With my reassuring words that keep people feel calm and as if they are enough… With all those things, I managed to still interact with them -- with you. You might think that I’m lying, but to remind you that I’m dead, please, look into my eyes. These dull, lifeless eyes don’t reflect the living picture of a human being you think you see in me.

Now that you know my secret, will you keep it?