It's all mine

I'm blaming myself for everything that happened to our family. 

If I'm not stupid, I won't be transferring to another school which is so far from home and is so expensive. My parents won't be having a problem on where to get money to pay for my tuition and for the place I'm staying. My father won't be chatting with some female dog and gamble a lot. My mother won't be angry to what my father has been doing. She won't think of separating. 

I think my brother's also blaming me. My parents have already spent a lot for me the past year, yet I still keep on coming back home every weekend and spend again for my fare. If I didn't come home every weekend he wouldn't be so angry to me. If I studied hard, he would not tell me that I'm so stupid that I haven't graduated on time.

I just need to let what I'm feeling and thinking out because I might become crazy if I don't.