It's normal

Liking two completely different things is confusing. I know how it feels. And that is normal.

The desire of wanting to have many friends, but you also want to be isolated from the crowd because you're afraid they might ask you questions that you can't answer or maybe you think you'll just stutter? In your mind you're too shy to speak up, keeping your own opinion to yourself, not wanting to cause any misunderstanding.

It's normal. Everyone have opinions they keep in their own mind just because they dont want to lose someone so dear.

The desire of wanting to keep your lane straight but wanting to have fun and be lost at the same time.
Especially when you have strict parents and you just want them to trust you.

It's normal everyone wants to be trusted and to be independent.

Sometimes you feel like someone's strangling you, eyes judging and hands weighing and pulling you down.
Even though you give all the things that they want, say the words that they want to hear and hand them the feelings that they want to feel.

You even give more.

Its normal. Everone wants to feel like they're being depended on, to feel like they're important to someone.

That they become so selfless, saving others first before themselvels, loving others more than themselves. Tbh I think everyone does that nowadays. (And we need to change that, we should learn to save and love ouselves more.)

What if when someone takes you for granted,  taking a part of you everyday, but they're still not contented? What if they took your everything in a snap? Leaving you empty inside.
Then you get sick of it and do the unexpected. Exploding like an emotional bomb?

What you did was normal. Everone has their own limit when it comes to patience. Everyone can get angry.
Everyone can stop and shout the things they hate, things they despise.

Loving someone is the easiest thing to do, even hearing the word 'love' makes you happy, but choosing who you love is the scariest part because you don't know who will hurt you and who will cherish you like you are the most important person in their lives!

But sometimes you just have to let go, because time will come and your heart will rip, like it always does when you mistakenly let people in. Yes at the beginning it will be hard but trust me things will be better.