A day with sore throat, post-cold, and annoyance. I opened my laptop to do something with regards to my requirements, which upon lead me to the folder of my “Best 2017 photos” that I plan to print out. I scroll, one by one. At the end of the photo, a sudden realization come to my mind,
“Wow, I think I just realized now how pretty good i’m living in this life.”
Then it hits me, I always envy people who posts photos of them, enjoying, partying and everything. But if I were to see mine, it’s pretty much the same. Then I wonder, why do people always wishes to be on someone else’s lives? We all do this. We hope we were Taylor Swift, we hope we were a Korean star, or a Filipino star and definitely wanted to neglect our own identity or put hate on it.
Do you guys ever wonder that maybe just maybe, someone wanted to be like you? That maybe just maybe, like you, someone wanted to live the life you were living? You know what’s the problem with us? We look for imperfections within ourselves. Because we don’t have this thing, we think people who have it are better. And those who we think are better, also thinks somebody else were better. It’s like a cycle of envy. There are days where we feel so good on our own skin, but there’s also, like most of the time, where we feel so small and hates life how yours are planned.
So I came up to this, what if one day, we just go around and be our self? Not the typical self that you go outside, smile to everyone’s crap, absorb other’s bullshit and blend on what’s the societies ‘identity’ of you.
What if, we just go out there, ignore who and what we want, do what we want to the extent of our own shame, express and not to impress, and actually believe that being who you really are isn’t a bad thing after all. Because believe it or not, there are people out there, maybe one of our friends, our boyfriend or girlfriend, a common friend, or an acquaintance, or maybe you, who, when going out of their homes wears this mask that makes them blend in what the society requires them to be. That even if they feel uncomfortable with the mask, they would rather wear it just to be accepted by the majority than be hated and secluded for being different.
And times go by, where people who wears mask gets tired of it, starts to get rid of it. That’s a good thing, right? To finally be yourself. But no, not really a good thing. In this world we live in where what we want to be should be affirmed by the social public, being yourself can sometimes be an actual danger to one’s mental health.
“You’re so skinny.” Because I have eating disorder.
“You’re so fat.” But I used to be skinny.
“Why are you so ugly?” Am I?
“Dumb.” We have different IQs.
“Stop playing nice.” I am who I am.
“You’re worthless, d’you know that?” .. Am I?
“Better die, than live.” .. Should I?
The quoted lines are what the society always says. And as I said, living in the 20th century seemed to be the most dreadful thing ever, where living is like surviving everyday, not just physically, but mentally.
People who get depressed are treated as someone crazy, over reacting, sensitive for no good reason, and worst, they are called people who lacks on faith. Funny how people easily judges someone because they are depressed. When you openly say you’re depressed and needs help, they would say you’re over reacting, or it’s all in the head, you’re gonna’ pass through that, that it’s just a ‘phase’ in life. They would also say that life is good to live, there’s so many things we have yet to explore, so stop being dramatic about depression. Or when you have depression but is not openly saying it, then people would tell you, “Look at you, you don’t look depressed at all.”
Do you guys know what depressed people feel? How do depressed people’s mind works? How they view what you say? Or how they absorb it?
Once and for all, let us all clarify this,
D E P R E S S I O N D O E S N ‘ T H A V E A F A C E.
Not because people laugh, does mean they’re genuinely happy. Moreover, not because someone’s depressed does mean they have to paint black nail polish, put too much eyeliner, put a ring piercing on their ears, nose, and everywhere in the face and wear a black shirt that say, “I am depressed.”
Let us break that stigma, shall we? Depression is not ‘JUST IN THE MIND’ or being ‘O.A.’ or ‘LACK OF ATTENTION’.
When should we prioritize that Depression is becoming a societal problem, where people who has it thinks of ‘death’ as the doorway to escape this toxic world?
Have you ever cried with a heavy heart at night on your bed thinking how worthless you think you are?
Or have you ever been in a crowd full of people but still felt alone?
Have you ever felt bonding out with your friends, laughing with all your heart and when you get home, you feel so lonely?
Have you ever asked yourself, ‘What would happen if I die?’ ‘Would they cry?’ ‘Would they be happy?’ ‘Would anyone miss me?’ .. ‘How many people would blame me?’
Have you ever tried writing your death note?
Have you ever wonder what would be good for a suicide? A rope, a drug, or a knife?
This is not funny. This is not a joke. Depressed people do really thought about this. And it’s not that they lack of faith, do you ever wonder how many times they cried to Him asking Him how to still go on, asking Him forgiveness for the numerous times of considering suicide? And have you ever wonder, how they cry their hearts out at night and wishes to be hugged by Him?
You never know depression.
Because you think of it as a joke. As ‘something in the head’. As ‘not a serious problem’.
What I have written here are just an introductory to what depression is.
There are stories left untold.
They are lives who gave up because of depression.
Should we wait for more people to commit suicide before we finally accept that depression is a true thing and a serious one?
Should we wait for more people to commit suicide before we finally realize that what we say to other people does really matter?
To end this note, and going back, I want people to realize, that not because some leads a good life does mean they are actually having one. Let us live the way we wanted. Let us be who we are. Open up. Free your mind. And help yourself as far as you could. Because taking your own life will never be the answer, and should never be an option. And do you know what’s the biggest crime you can contribute to trigger depressed people? Blaming them for being depressed.
- KABD