Journey from 'we' to 'me'

         "Time doesn't heal you,

                  You heal you"

It's going to be almost 5 months since we haven't talked, met or even seen each other by accident.

I remember how I laughed and ignored the conversation when you said that we'll end soon, because we have to. I remember how we went on for 1-2 days without talking and came back to square one, but it feels different now.

It's been months and we haven't talked despite feeling misery in each nerve. After all the tears I shed over you, after all the efforts, texts, messages (with no response), I've finally learnt my lesson that you're gone and that has made me a completely different person.

I am not whom you spent your afternoons with, I am not the person whom you yelled at for nothing, I am not the same as I was 5 months ago, but sometimes I wish I was.

In the journey of letting you go and moving on from 'us', I changed myself to an extent which isn't recognizable.

I have new scars on my thighs which you aren't aware of.

I have a completely new playlist which you never heard of.

I cut my hair short because you ran over your fingers through them.

I have someone else's lip's pressed against mine and not yours.

I've stories to tell which you've never heard.

I am surviving, without you and it feels great, now.

I am happy, almost.

5 months without you and this isn't the first time I'm writing about you, with tears in my eyes and memories in my head.

I'm not sure if I miss you or I miss the person I was when I was with you.

You promised not to take me for granted yet you did exactly the same. You turned out to be the person you swore you'd never be, and I hate myself for believing your words when your actions were completely opposite.

5 months of pain, misery, helplessness, insecurity, but I've learned that you do move on. And it's okay to still get affected by your past and not want that back.

To you,

I am over you.

I am over us.

There is nothing left for you.

There is nothing to lose! xx