Just A Passerby

It was spring when you came along. I didn't know what will I do at first because I secretly admired you for a long time. It was a dream came true for me.

Just like a cliche story we became close, and as time goes by we became each other's diary. We shared every single thing that happens to our daily lives.

There comes to a point that you invited me to see a movie with you but because of my trust issues, I didn't say yes. It's not because I'm playing hard to get but it's because I just recently got broken by someone whom I invested my whole life with. Because of that I promised to myself that I will know the people coming into my life very well before investing time and effort with them.

We always talk everyday, you always call me every night, you always say good morning and good night to me and day by day you became sweeter. You always invite me to go somewhere with you but I always reject it and say that I will just go with you after several months.

You make me feel the love that I thought I will never feel again. You make me believe that I can like someone again. You show sweetness that I forgot to remember that in every sweetness there has to be bitterness.

After some time of talking, you suddenly disappear. I don't know what happened and I was so afraid to let my pride and guard down, so I just let you go and never message you again. I didn't have the chance to ask you why did you suddenly leave. And it became the end of our story.

Sometimes I ask myself

What if I put my guard down and let you in? Will it change the flow of our story or will it end it in the same way after some time?

What if I accepted your invitation? Will you still be here with me?

What if I asked you why you suddenly disappear? Will it lessen the pain that I'm feeling or will it hurt me more?

What if I sent you a message and say my feelings for you? Will you go back to me?

But after all those questions, I came to a realization.

Maybe you're just a passerby and you
just look to the wall that I build up so high. Maybe you just think of a way to break it but when you realized that it is difficult to break, you just suddenly leave it with your marks on it.

Maybe I'm not your destination, so you just passed me by.