Kabira!!

"Kaisi Teri khudgarzi
Kisi thor tike na pav
Kaisi Teri khudgarzi
Na dhoop chune na chhaaon
Kaisi Teri khudgarzi
Kisi thor tike na pav"

Returning from work she plunged on the radio. Working her ass off the whole day, she was tired. It was raining outside and she was wet too, but dry inside. Drained and tired and broken. Sitting hopelessly on the couch, and slowly taking sips of the coffee, she turned to the music...

"Aaahhhhaaahhaaa aaahhhaaa.......
Kaisi Teri khudgarzi
Na dhoop chune na chhaaon
Kaisi Teri khudgarzi"

She felt the pain, the pain of loving a narcissist, loving a self-centred person. The one who can't decide between him and his love of life. The one who can't decide what is important in his life...
Whether to choose sun or shower or just running after mirage.The one who was very volatile, and never believed in the commitments.

"Ban liya apna paigambar
Tar liya saat samandar
Phir bhi sookha Mann ke andar
Kyun reh Gaya"

The one who always believes in himself and never turned off his ego (what he called it as self-esteem). He was always been successful and he will always. She believes he has potential, rather everyone knows. His sparks, his Goods. But, the thing that only she knew was the night he cried for not being satisfied with his life, his carrier about his family, his late mother. The always smiling, cherish and extroverted fun-loving guy, can cry like a child and have a dry heart. The most matured and sincere boy can fight for the last bite of pizza.

"Re Kabira maan jaa
Re Faqeera maan jaa
Aaja tujhko pukaare teri parchhaaiyan
Re Kabira Maan ja
Re Faqeera maan ja
Aisa tu hai nirmohi Kaisa harjaaiya"

The one who had loved you so much, just becomes not interested in you one day. Becomes a gipsy, totally not having a little of attachments for native.  Wandering to this place or other lost in himself and becoming heartless for the people he left behind. How many moments he had missed for his big ambitious dreams. Which he might achieve one day but might not achieve the people who will appreciate his success. The dream apartment and a luxurious car he wanted all his life now it belongs to him only. But the sunsets we used to observe holding hands together, and the little cute things we used to share, can't be pursued again. During his career maybe  she was blended with the background, maybe she was just a part of his struggle. She was just that milestone which we use just to check whether we are going right or wrong and forget about it once we achieve our destiny. Even after knowing everything she was happy being with him. Happy with his dreams, his career, Happy to see him happy . happiness? Well, that was just for a moment,  he always wanted something big, more and more. How he will be satisfied with her love then?

"Mast Maula, mast kalandar
Tu Hawa ka ek bavander
Bujh ke Yun andar hi andar
Kyon reh Gaya.."

She was cursing herself after he left her alone, he was actually like a whirlwind, wandering here and there devastating and affecting many lives without doesn't care about that at all. But, only she know when   he enjoyed every moment, wearing a fake smile in front of others, and dealing with every problem around, finally when he stepped in his room the voids he'll feel, how he'll miss her, but will not tell her in person on the argue of his ego. She knows that he feels something for her, he want to enjoy that sunset you want that fucking last bite of pizza, he still want to fight with her for not stopping him that when he decided to leave her. He don't know that
even after knowing all this she barely tried to stop him cause she also want to see him there, she also want him to be happy in his own way. She don't want him to lock himself under her commitments.

"Hope you are happy, and if not my arms are always wide open for you, always."