I want to kill myself not because I hate everyone. I want to kill myself because I hate myself, and only myself. I hate the fact that simple things that used to make me happy isn't a thing anymore. I hate it when I couldn't enjoy the things I used to do because I feel so lost... so empty. I hate it when I feel like I was all day fine, and ended up at the corner, self-loathing on how I sucked at everything. I hate it when my friends' and members of family couldn't see nor understand. I hate myself because even from the quoted encouragement of my favorite authors matter no more.
I hate myself for being a coward, for wanting to escape. I hate myself because I couldn't face the darkness inside my head.I hate myself for not having the strength to get through this. And I hate myself for wanting to kill myself because I am weak. I even hate myself more for being a dumbass who couldn't end it all in one slit. I hate myself because even just doing it I failed... again.