Letting him go.

She fell in love with him the first time she met him.. they were 13, too young and too detached to believe they could fall in love. And when it became impossible to deny it anymore, she wasn't bold enough to say it and he, not strong enough to carry it. She let it go, thinking it was never meant to be hers. They shared a silence for 4 years and she bore all that heartache, cried through sleepless nights, tried to fall in love again, and she did. She fell in love everytime she saw him walk past her in the corridor. She always wanted to know if he ever missed her, if he ever felt that pain. She was sure he didn't. She directed all her energy and put all her heart to pursue her dream, to study, getting closer each day to where she wanted to be. But one day, years later she couldn't stop herself from sending a 'hi'. And they talked! So much. For hours through the night. He missed her! He wanted to talk, wanted to spend time together. They met, shared, laughed and then it became the best evening of her life: he walked towards her and he kissed her! She couldn't believe it. All those walls she'd built those years crumbled down that second. She gave in. She loved him. She always had. And they were perfect. They were happy. Weeks passed and each day she woke up with a smile, reminded of how hw loved her. This is all she ever wanted, right? No. Over the years, she'd changed, her dreams had changed, her priorities had changed, she'd grown too strong to be held by someone, too clear minded, too focused. And now, she couldn't let all that hardwork go away because someone decided to walk back into her life. He was important, no doubt. He was her smile. But she was her own Sun. Just two months away from her medical entrance exam, something she'd breathed for, she couldn't lose her focus. She couldn't give him a place above her dream. And so, she walked away. No one could imagine the kind of pain she felt, the nights she went through, how she ached for his touch, his eyes, his smile, his voice calling her name. It was harder this time, letting him go, because this time she'd experienced his love not his friendship, this time she knew for sure that he loved her, it was a feeling impossible to let go. But she did it. She fought it through. They may find their way back into each other's lives and they may not. But either way, this was her decision. She still loves him, and she doesn't know how long will it be till the day she actually moves on. But she knew now how strong she was. If she could do this she could do anything. It's okay girls, to let him go in order to find yourself.